Mayhem in Missouri
by Ellis97
Summary: When our heroes go to Missouri for a moose convention, they are caught in the middle of a feud. Meanwhile, Fearless Leader accompanies Boris in search of a powerful hat called the Kirwood Derby, which, when worn, made the bearer the most intelligent being that ever lived, but it had to be found by the stupidest creature alive, so Bullwinkle is used to track it down.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

 **Well it's time for The Adventures of Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody, and Sherman! Starring none other than jet-age aerial ace, Rocket J. Squirrel, his pal Bullwinkle the Moose, that canine braniac Mr. Peabody, and his pet boy, Sherman!**

 **We got some great things in store for you in today's show! So sit back, relax and enjoy the story! After all, it is the start of season two.**

* * *

Things are usually peaceful in the town of Frostbite Falls, Minnesota. Some people play endless checker games, some trade things, some play lazily at tiddly winks. Aren't you fellas gonna play?

"Brother, I'm just too tired to play." The first player said to the narrator.

Charlie Parlor Carr came dashing up the street like a maniac.

"What do you think he's running about?" Asked a checker player.

"Maybe he's got sunstroke." The other player suggested.

"It's not even sunny today." The first player pointed at the gloomy, snowy sky. "It's snowing."

But what the man really had was a telegram for none other than our hero, Bullwinkle the Moose. He arrived at the house of our heroes.

"BULLWINLKLE! BULLWINKLE!" The man called out.

Bullwinkle jumped out of his chair "Where? Where?"

"You're Bullwinkle!" Peabody scolded Bullwinkle.

"This telegram here is for you." Charlie handed Bullwinkle the telegram.

"A telegram?" Peabody asked "They still do those?"

"Read it will you Rock?" Bullwinkle handed Rocky the letter. "I don't have my glasses."

"You don't wear reading glasses!" Rocky reminded the moose.

"Well I said I didn't have any." Bullwinkle shrugged.

"Well here it is anyways," Rocky started to read the letter "Dear brother, you are invited to attend the 15th annual convention of the BAMBAMS."

"The BAMBAMS?" Sherman asked.

"That's my lodge." Bullwinkle went into his hope chest and took out a banner "The Big American Mooses Benevolent Artistic and Marching Society."

"Well anyways," Rocky continued reading "They want to come to their convention so they can make you their vice president."

"Golly Uncle Bullwinkle," Sherman exclaimed "That's pretty fantastic!"

"We should go." Rocky said "This seems like a golden oppurtunity."

"Well, I don't know," Bullwinkle went into his train of thought.

"They're gonna have a tasty steak buffet," Rocky told the moose.

"Well," Bullwinkle thought out loud.

"They'll pay all expenses," Rocky added.

"Well," Bullwinkle continued.

"And you can bring your ukelele." Rocky finished.

"Well what are we waiting for?" Bullwinkle asked "Let's go!"

Before they left, our heroes put on their winter clothing. Sherman put on a blue jacket and red gloves, Peabody was wearing a red scarf and winter hat, Rocky wore a yellow scarf and mittens, and Bullwinkle was wearing a red winter hat, a red scarf, and earmuffs. and And so in just a little while, our heroes were at the ticket office with their suitcases in hand.

"Where are we going Uncle Bullwinkle?" Sherman asked his uncle.

"The convention my dear nephew." Bullwinkle said.

"No, Sherman means where the convention is." Peabody corrected Bullwinkle.

"Oh," Bullwinkle looked in his address book "It's in PEaceful Valley, Missuori."

"First class, second class, or third class?" Asked the stationmaster.

"What's the difference?" Asked Rocky.

The stationmaster showed them some pictures "First class you ride in a closed car, second class you ride in an open car,"

"What's third class?" Rocky asked.

"You ride under the car." The stationmaster finished "So how much can you afford to spend?"

"Anything up to a dollar and a half is okay." Rocky showed the stationmaster his money.

"What can we afford?" Peabody asked.

"Shanks Mare Excursion tickets." Said the stationmaster.

"What's that mean?" Rocky asked.

The stationmaster picked up Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody, and Sherman and threw them onto the tracks. Yes, the Shanks Mare Excursion tickets meant that they had to walk on the tracks from Minnesota to Missouri themselves.

"But that includes stopovers to get the rocks out of your shoes." Sherman shook rocks out of his shoes.

"Sherman, you're only one who wears shoes." Peabody pointed out.

Little did our heroes know that at that very moment, they're being watched by an eye high in the sky. Yes, an opening satelite was broadcasting their every move thousands of miles very far away, where a dastardly figure waits sinisterly. And that guy was none other than, Fearless Leader.

"Well Feeogy, where are they?" Fearless Leader asked his henchman.

"They are on their way, Fearless Leader." Feeogy answered.

Fearless Leader looked on a radar and saw our heroes on the tracks to Missouri.

"Good." Said Fearless Leader "That completes phase one of my master plan."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Why is this fearless leader keeping tab on our heroes? Maybe we'll find out next time-**

 **Fearless Leader** : Over your dead body!

 **Well, maybe we won't. But keep on reading anyways for our next chapter, "Landslide on the Rail" or "Bullwinkle Covers His Tracks"!**


	2. Chapter 2

Last time you remember, Bullwinkle was invited to attend the annual convention of the BAMBAMS.

"The Big American Moose Benevolent Artistic and Marching Society." Said Bullwinkle. "Foundered in 1820."

Don't you mean "founded"?

"No, I mean 'foundered'." Bullwinkle told the author "The boat sank."

Be that as it may, our heroes are traveling by rail to Peaceful Valley, Missouri where the convention is being held. They are traveling fourth class on the Frostbite Falls Railroad. Meaning they have to walk on the tracks in the cold, snowing, outdoors.

"Boy, I think my blood is freezing." Said Rocky.

But that isn't their only problem, for high above them spins an eye in the sky that is flashing their whereabouts to Fearless Leader in Pottsylvania.

"You're plan is going as planned Fearless Leader." Said his worker, Feeogy.

"Good." Fearless Leader said "Feeogy, which spy is avalible in Minnesota."

Feeogy got into files of different spies "Anastasia got in trouble with the FIB."

"Don't you mean, FBI?" Fearless Leader asked.

"That's what I said." Feeogy said "He told an FIB to the FBI and got 23 years in jail."

"Go on." Said Fearless Leader.

"Engle Bert is visiting his mother and can't get away." Feeogy said.

"Then who does that leave?" Fearless Leader asked.

"Oh no." Feeogy shivered "I'm afraid to tell you."

"Why?" Fearless Leader asked.

"I'm afraid of you." Feeogy said. "You might yell at me."

"I'm your fearless leader, Feeogy, don't you trust me?" Fearless Leader asked with a soft look.

"It's...Boris Badenov." Feeogy answered.

"Let this be a lesson to you Feeogy, NEVER TRUST ANYONE!" Fearless Leader grabbed him by the shirt "Now send message to that sniveling idiot."

And as we know him, that sniveling idiot Boris Badenov was on a hill high above the railroad tracks rigging a fiendish device.

"Observe Natasha," Boris as he made dotted lines across the hill "I dig away grounding from the huge boulder, boulder rolls down dotted lines, hits track right at crossing."

"Dollink, what do we have against crossing?" Natasha followed Boris.

"Nothing Natasha." Boris put an X on the middle of the tracks "But when moose, squirrel, dog, and boy are on the crossing..."

"Then X marks spot!" Natasha snapped her fingers.

"You got it dollface." Boris gave a thumbs up.

"You got orders to do away with them, Boris?" Natasha asked Boris.

"Who needs orders?" Boris got a smug look "This is on the house."

And sure enough as our heroes approached the crossing, a sinister looking bird came flying to Boris's shoulders.

"A carrier pigeon." Boris let the bird land on his shoulder.

"Carrier pigeon?" Natasha hid behind a rock "Boris that is a buzzard!"

"Nonsense." Said Boris "This a Pottsylvanian Pigeon."

Natasha opened up the scroll in the bird's mouth "Moose and squirrel must arrive at Peaceful Valley safe and sound. Signed, Fearless Leader."

"You see Natasha?" Boris asked "I beat Fearless Leader to it."

"You did what dollink?" Natasha asked.

"I goofed." Boris gulped.

And quickly disguising himself as a track walker, Boris dashed down the hill. Soon, he passed the rushing boulder.

"STOP!" He shouted.

"What do you suppose that fella's hollering?" Bullwinkle asked his friends.

"I don't know," Rocky said "But I think we'd better stop right here."

Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody, and Sherman stopped right on the X, waiting for Boris.

"You got to go back!" Boris warned them "Boulder is about to hit that exact spot."

Bullwinkle looked at that very spot "Say, that must be what this X is for."

Yes, for the first time, Bullwinkle was right for the first time, probably the last time too because...

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Stay tuned for our next episode, "Rocky and the Rock" or "Taken for Granite"!**


	3. Chapter 3

Yes, you remember that Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody, and Sherman were traveling to Peaceful Valley, Missouri by Frostbite Falls Fourth Class, which means you had to walk on the tracks.

"I hope I don't get hypothermia from walking in this snow for hours." Sherman said.

"But you get a free can of bunion cream." Bullwinkle said to the narrator.

Little did they know that, Boris Badenov on a hillside above them, released a huge boulder above them to hit our heroes on the tracks. But when Boris got his orders, via Pottsylvanian pigeon, it said to let Rocky, Bullwinkle, Peabody, and Sherman get to Peaceful Valley alive. So Boris disguised himself as a track racer and run ahead to our heroes about the boulder.

"You got to back!" Boris warned them.

"But why?" Sherman asked Boris.

"A boulder is about to land right on you!" Boris warned them.

"How do you know that?" Rocky asked.

Boris started to answer "Because-"

"LOOK OUT!" Bullwinkle shouted.

And at that moment, the boulder went up into the air landed right on the X, or at least near it. Boris was hit by the boulder.

"We gotta get him out of there guys!" Rocky exclaimed.

And by using a tree trunk as a lever and Bullwinkle's moose muscles, our heroes lifted the rock.

"Golly," Sherman looked at the place Boris was hit "Looks like we found nothing but his hat."

"I'm under hat." Boris said.

Sherman lifted the hat and saw Boris flat on his face.

"Hokey smoke!" Rocky exclaimed "You were hammered into the ground like a hat."

"Who are you anyways?" Mr. Peabody asked.

"Just call me, 'Spike'" Boris said.

"How are we gonna pull him out Mr. Peabody?" Sherman asked Peabody.

"If he was put in like a nail, he's gotta come out like a nail." Peabody suggested "Bullwinkle, do you think you can find a tree branch shaped like a hammerhead?"

"I sure can!" Bullwinkle ran into the woods and conviently found a tree branch shaped like a hammerhead.

Bullwinkle used the branch and Boris was flipped right out of the ground. But when he got out, he started acting all weird.

"Does the crosstown bus stop here, sir?" Boris asked Bullwinkle.

"This is the railroad." Bullwinkle said.

"Oh, then give me blue transfer." Boris said.

"Guys, I think I hit him too hard." Bullwinkle said to his friends.

"How, Uncle Bullwinkle?" Sherman asked.

"I think I flipped his lid." Bullwinkle said.

"Goodness listen to all the birdies." Boris started prancing "Aren't they beautfiul?"

"Birdies?" Rocky asked "It's wintertime."

"Come here you little rascals." Boris said in a sing song voice.

And Boris skipped and pranced off while our heroes watched in amazement. He arrived back to Natasha.

"Boris you have changed somehow." Natasha said.

"Oh no." Boris dipped his partner "I am still same old lovable guy."

"Boris!" Natasha said "If Fearless Leader knew, he'd kill us."

"Who is Fearless Leader?" Natasha asked.

"If you're listening Fearless Leader, he is kidding." Natasha begged to the sky. "Boris you know who Fearless Leader is. Here is his picture."

Natasha showed Boris a photo of Fearless Leader.

"Boy, he looks like a meanie." Boris looked at the photo.

"Yes, he is rottenest, cruelest, evillest mind in land." Said Natasha "And he is your idol."

"My idol?" Boris asked "Impossible."

"Is possible." Natasha nodded "And he wants you to let moose, squirrel, dog, and little boy get to Peaceful Valley and live."

"He wants me to let those guys down there live?" Boris pointed down to the tracks.

"Yes, he does." Natasha nodded.

"That's it!" Boris proclaimed "I do exactly the opposite of what he says!"

Natasha pointed at Boris "You mean?"

"Yes!" Boris said "I'll go to knock off moose, squirrel, dog, and boy! Is the only decent thing to do."

"Boris!" Natasha gasped "You know what you get when you do that?!"

"Yes, I get two gold stars and a brownie." Boris started prancing.

And with just that, Boris grabbed a stick of TNT and ran towards our heroes.

* * *

 **NOW FOR SOMETHING WE HOPE YOU'LL REALLY LIKE!**

 **THE ROCKY, BULLWINKLE, AND MR. PEABODY FAN CLUB**

 **Bullwinkle** : Hello everyone! And welcome to the Rocky, Bullwinkle, and Mr. Peabody Fan Club Fundraiser Telethon. I'm your host, Bullwinkle J. Moose, here to show you today's acts. With me is my good friend, Mr. Peabody. Here, you're going to see great things such as; Ty Burnell, Max Charles, Ariel Winter, Leslie Mann, Stephen Colbert, Allison Janney, Ariana Grande...

 **Mr. Peabody** : Me and the author's personal favorite (winks at the audience).

 **Bullwinkle** :...Patrick Warbuton, and Lake Bell. But all you're gonna see are their names.

 **Mr. Peabody** : And we have some special guest stars; Rocky the Squirrel (turns to Rocky, who is doing a bunch of things at once), my boy Sherman (turns to Sherman, who is doing some sort of breakdance), Boris Badenov (points to Boris who is on a unicycle)

 **Sherman** : (keeps spinning) Look Mr. Peabody! I'm doing it! I'm doing it!

 **Mr. Peabody** : That'll do Sherman, that'll do.

 **Bullwinkle** : And our telephone girl, Natasha Fatale.

 **Natasha** : Pleased to see you dollink.

 **Mr. Peabody** : To raise money for our telethon, call this number, is SUCKER 9-222, or if that's busy, call SHAKE EM DOWN 555-222. That's the Chinese restaurant downstairs.

 **Bullwinkle** : And now, here's our first guest star!

 **Mr. Peabody** : What are you going to do for us Boris?

 **Boris** : Is quite simple, I do impersonations. I got two years for impersonating officer. Today I do very stupid character.

 **Mr. Peabody** : And pray tell, who is that?

 **Boris** : Bullwinkle Moose, listen. (in Bullwinkle's voice) Donate your money to the Rocky, Bullwinkle, and Mr. Peabody Telethon friends.

 **Bullwinkle** : How'd you do that?

 **Boris** : (in Bullwinkle's voice) This is my natural voice, (in normal accent) this is funny accent.

 **Bullwinkle** : Say Natasha, how's the phone calls?

 **Natasha** : (at the phone) Two wrong numbers, four orders for wontons. Ten dollars for show? Oh, ten dollars to show.

 **Mr. Peabody** : How are we doing with the money Sherman?

 **Sherman** : We've only got ten cents in the hole Mr. Peabody.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Why?

 **Sherman** : I lent Boris Badenov a dime for the parking meter.

 **Boris** : Okay, okay. I give extra impersonation. Sonny Tufts!

 **Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody, Rocky, Sherman, and Natasha** : Sonny Tufts?!

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Don't miss our next exciting chapter, "Trouble Upstairs" or "Bats in Boris"!**


	4. Chapter 4

Well our boys are still on their way to Peaceful Valley, Missouri and the Annual MooseCon.

"I didn't know there were any mooses in Missouri, Bullwinkke." Rocky said to Bullwinkle.

"Sure there are." Bullwinkle handed a photo to Rocky "Just take a look at one."

Sherman looked at the photo "Golly, Missouri mooses don't look like you at all."

"Well they are a little smaller." Bullwinkle said.

"And they're fatter." Rocky added.

"And their horns aren't as big." Sherman pointed out.

"And they give milk." Bullwinkle finished.

"Milk?!" Sherman and Rocky asked.

"Bullwinkle," Peabody said "I believe what is in your picture is not a moose."

Rocky looked at the photo "It's a cow!"

"Just the same, it's an honorary moose." Bullwinkle said.

"That doesn't make sense!" Rocky exclaimed "How can a cow be an honorary moose?"

"Well we had a big membership drive a few years ago." Bullwinkle said "Guess we got carried away."

"I wish we could get carried away." Rocky said "I'm sure sick of walking."

"My blood is starting to freeze." Sherman said "My pre-orphan parents would always make me hot cocoa."

"Judging by the wind and the snow falling fastly, I sense that a blizzard is on its way." Peabody said.

"A blizzard?" Sherman asked.

"Hokey smoke!" Rocky exclaimed "And I thought fourth class wasn't the least of our problems."

"Rocky, I have a suggestion...maybe should fly and we'll meet you there!" Peabody sarcastically said.

"And leave you guys?" Rocky asked. "My dear friends? Never!"

"I knew you'd say that." Peabody said.

"Then why'd you ask?" Rocky asked.

"I wanted to make sure." Peabody shurgged.

Meanwhile, fate is preparing a cruel blow for our boys in the shape of Boris Badenov, who has suddenly gotten amnesia and reformed himself, due to a crack on the head.

"I will not do anything that nasty Fearless Leader says." Boris said.

"But why dollink?" Natasha asked.

"Because he is a meanie." Boris proclaimed.

"Shhh." Natasha shushed him "He might hear you dollink."

"So I disobey all his orders." Boris said "What was his last order?"

"To not kill moose, squirrel, dog, and boy." Natasha showed him the note.

"Then I do it anyway." Boris proclaimed "And after that, we pick flowers and give them to poor people and orphans."

And grabbing a nearby stick of explosives, Boris danced after our friends. In no time at all, he was lying in wait for them close to a nearby watchman shack.

"Hey!" Rocky said "That looks like a great place to rest."

"A place to warm up?" Sherman asked "That's pretty fantastic."

"And convinent at that." Peabody added.

"Lead me to it." Bullwinkle ran to the shack.

"We can't." Rocky ran after Bullwinkle "You're ahead of us."

"Then follow me to it." Bullwinkle said.

Then our heroes entered the abandoned shack and shut it tight. Instantly, Boris grabbed a roll of wire and dashed around the shack and wrapped it loop after loop.

"Here you go loop de loop!" Boris sang "Here we go loop de laaaa!"

In no time at all, the whole shack was tied with wire. And inside, Bullwinkle was about to make a big discovery.

"I'm freezing Mr. Peabody." Sherman shivered.

"Q-q-quiet you." Peabody shivered back.

Bullwinkle went to the front door "I'll get to finding us some wood and we can start a fire."

Bullwinkle tried to open the door, but he couldn't no matter how hard he tried.

"Hey, the door must be swollen." Bullwinkle tried to open the door.

"Swollen my furry, gray bahookie." Rocky crossed his arms.

"Well my feet are kinda swollen from walking in the snow." Bullwinkle said.

"No!" Peabody said "Rocky means that the whole shack has been hog tied!"

"Now who would want to do such a dizzy thing like that?" Bullwinkle asked.

That's easy! Dizzy Boris Badenov, who thought he was doing good deeds was lighting the fuse on his stick of dynamite.

"Law and order, law and order, blow them up and then I cross the border." Boris pranced and sung.

But at that moment, the spy in the sky satelite was broadcasting the whole scene and transmitted it back to Pottsylvania and it's extremely furious Fearless Leader, who was babbling in some sort of strange language.

"Any orders Fearless Leader?" Asked his assistant.

"Yes!" Fearless Leader "Activate the satelite!"

He gasped "You don't mean?"

"Don't argue with me Demetree!" Fearless Leader kicked him "DO IT!"

And with no hesitation, Demetree pressed a button on the control. Instatnly, a door emerged from the satelite and an extending hand dropped a brick and launched it onto Boris' head, just as Boris was about to launch the dynamite into the window of the shack, which dropped onto the porch. But the explosion blew the shack over our heroes' heads and freed them.

"Hooray!" They cheered.

Meanwhile, Boris flew right into a tree and was found about an hour later by his partner in crime, Natasha Fatale, who was dressed in a scout uniform.

"Okay Boris." She said "You want to start Cub Scout troop?"

"Cub Scouts?" Boris asked "Are you stupid?!"

"Oh Boris," She smiled "You mean?"

"AW SHARUP!" Boris shouted.

"Oh dollink, you're back to normal." Natasha picked up Boris and covered his face with her evil kisses.

"ALRIGHT IS ENOUGH!" Boris screamed.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Yes Boris is back to normal and what plans does he have for our heroes now? Be with us for our next chapter, "Boris on a Broomstick" or "The Flying Sorceror"!**


	5. Chapter 5

Well for a story about a convention, this has been unconventional so far. Our heroes are still making their way to Missouri, being watched by a satellite high in the sky that is transmitting footage of them back to Pottsylvania and their leader, Fearless Leader.

"Fearless Leader, moose and squirrel are taking a long time to get to Peaceful Valley." Said Fearless Leader's minion.

"Good." Fearless Leader said. "It is part of my master plan. And in the words of our beloved Mr. Big..."

"Speak not his name." the henchman begged.

"A watched plot never thickens." Fearless Leader finished.

Meanwhile, Boris Badenov who was blown up by one of his own inventions, was determined to be revenged.

"But Boris," Natasha said "Fearless Leader says that moose, squirrel, dog, and boy must arrive at Peaceful Valley alive."

"Phooey on Fearless Leader!" Boris ranted "Phooey! Phooey! And quadruple phooey!"

"Boris, this is kids story remember?" Natasha reminded him. "Watch your language!"

"Phooey on kids!" Boris stomped his foot.

Just then, a brick hit Boris right on the head.

"Boris what happened?" Natasha asked.

"This brick with a note fell on my head." Boris held up the brick.

"What does it say?" Natasha asked.

Boris read the paper "Fearless Leader is watching."

Yes the Pottsylvanian satellite was watching them from above Boris' head, keeping them under watch.

"Just kidding Fearless Leader." Boris said nervously "Million Laughs Badenov they call me."

"Badenov, you nitwit!" Fearless Leader pointed at Boris.

"They call me that too." Boris said.

"Get to Peaceful Valley and carry out your instructions!" Fearless Leader ordered "Use your special agent rocket kit."

"Yes Fearless Leader." Boris saluted "Boris Badenov signing off."

As soon as Boris ended his video conference, Fearless Leader's henchmen turned to his boss.

"Fearless Leader, I didn't know there was a secret agent rocket kit." He said. "Build it. Fly there."

"There isn't." Fearless Leader cackled.

Meanwhile, Boris and Natasha wanted to find the secret agent rocket kit, which they had no idea didn't exist at all.

"Natasha do we have rocket kit?" Boris asked.

"Let's check pocketbook." Natasha looked in her purse "Here is toxic lipstick."

"What flavor?" Boris asked.

"Kiss of Doom Pink." Natasha held out the lipstick.

"I prefer Black Widow Black or Vampire Violet." Boris remarked.

Natasha took out a photo "Autographed picture of Adolf Hitler."

"I love Hitler, he's my idol." Boris smiled. "I have a limited edition autographed picture of Osama Bin Laden."

"And membership card to PTA." Natasha took out a card.

"As in Parents and Teachers?" Boris asked.

"No," Natasha said "As in Pickpockets and Traitors."

"That's great." Boris said "But no rocket kit?"

"No rocket kit." Natasha looked disappointed.

"I'll check." Boris tried dumping everything out.

"Boris!" Natasha said "Don't turn it upside down!"

"Why?" Boris asked.

And the purse blew up and the two villains were covered in soot.

"What was that?" Boris asked.

"My explosive perfume." Natasha fainted.

Meanwhile, our four heroes were still walking towards Peaceful Valley, Missouri with that blizzard still on it's way.

"I'm f-f-f-freezing." Sherman shivered.

"Q-q-quiet y-y-you." Peabody shivered.

"Boy is it freezing." Bullwinkle shivered.

"Maybe that tunnel will warm us up." Rocky pointed to a tunnel.

And our heroes ran into the warm tunnel, little realizing that a very fast train was coming right towards them. CRASH!

In less than an instant, Rocky flew Mr. Peabody and Sherman with the metro right close behind them.

"Uncle Bullwinkle, where are you?" Sherman called out.

"Right here Sherman!" Bullwinkle shouted while trapped in a cowcather.

"You'd better get off that train!" Peabody shouted.

"I can't!" Bullwinkle said "My foot is caught in their grille."

"There's no time to be speaking Ebonics!" Rocky shouted "I'd better fly and tell them to stop the train!"

In a few minutes, the train was stopped and Bullwinkle was extracted from the front of the train.

"We're safe, but where are we?" Peabody asked.

Alas, they found out all too soon.

Sherman looked at the station and read their clock and sign "Mr. Peabody! Uncle Rocky! Uncle Bullwinkle! It's almost two and we're still in Frostbite Falls."

"Impossible!" Peabody barked.

"You know what that means?" Sherman asked.

"Yes, we must go get some lunch!" Bullwinkle proclaimed.

* * *

 **NOW FOR SOMETHING WE HOPE YOU'LL REALLY LIKE**

 **A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE ROCKY, BULLWINKLE, AND MR. PEABODY FAN CLUB!**

 **Mr. Peabody** : Greetings everyone, Peabody here!

 **Rocky** : And Rocky the Flying Squirrel beside him! We have a special announcement for you readers!

 **Mr. Peabody** : In our next chapter, we will have a Q&A for the Rocky, Bullwinkle, and Mr. Peabody Fan Club!

 **Rocky** : In this, we will be answering questions from many fans! Questions for me, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody, Sherman, Jessie, Marcie, Boris, and Natasha! Ask a some of us questions you've probably always wanted to ask us. You can post your questions to said character or characters in the reviews. Then we will choose some to answer.

 **Mr. Peabody** : I can't wait to see what my fans have to ask about me.

 **Rocky** : So post your questions in the reviews section and in our next chapter, we will answer them!

 **Mr. Peabody** : Stay tuned readers!

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Well it looks like our heroes are back where they started. Looks like their in a jam now! But before I tell you to stay tuned, don't forget our Questions and Answers thing we will do in our next chapter! Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody, Sherman, Jessie, Marcie, Boris and Natasha will be answering some of your questions readers and they can't wait to hear from their fans! I have always wanted to do a Q &A and now, I can do it! Post your questions in the reviews! **

**Stay tuned for "Boris Lends a Hand" or "Count Your Fingers!" And our Q &A as well folks!**


	6. Chapter 6

Last time you remember, our heroes were on their way to the Missouri Moose Convention, but they got caught in a jam with the Daylight Express, which was going the other way. By the time the train was stopped, they were back in Frostbite Falls. They went to a nearby restaraunt having lunch to warm up. After eating and warming up, they went outside of the resturant.

"We're never gonna get to Moosecon at this rate guys." Bullwinkle said to his friends.

"Don't fret Uncle Bullwinkle," Sherman said "If there's one thing my parents always taught me it's that to never give up."

"Sherman is right." Peabody said "After all, this story would end too quick."

"We just need a good travel agent." Rocky said.

Just then, Boris jumped right in front of our heroes, wearing a disguise, naturally.

"You're in luck." He said "You've got one!"

"Hey!" Rocky looked at him skeptically "Who the heck are you?"

"Allow me to introduce myself." Boris tipped his hat "Trent Wing LaTour, travel agent extrodinaire."

He handed them brochures of different places.

"Look at all these sites." Boris pointed to the places on the brochures "The famous garden spots of the world! The Bastille Prison, Lubianka Prison, Alcatraz, and the Wormwood Scrubs."

"Garden spots?" Rocky asked "Those are jails!"

"Sure is no Kings Dominion." Peabody said.

"No, but the privilages are wonderful." Boris said "You get to stay there for 20 years."

"We just want to go to Missouri, Mr. LaTour." Peabody said to Boris.

"Well why didn't you say so?" Boris took out a map "Now here's your directions. First to Lake Louse."

"I believe you're trying to pronounce Lake Louise." Peabody corrected Boris.

"Whatever." Boris said "Now then across the sea to Greenland, then Pismo Beach-"

"Couldn't we just go straight to Missouri?" Rocky asked Boris.

"If you want to do it easy way." Boris said "It's all the same price. Is only ten thousand dollars...each."

"We don't have that kind of money!" Sherman said "We're just a boy, a dog, a squirrel, and a moose!"

"Fine." Boris sighed "Make it $99.50."

Sherman reached into his coat pocket "All we've got is seventeen cents."

"Then I shall put you four on a luxury liner." Boris said "The S.S Huck Finn."

And soon enough, our heroes started down the frozen river on the S.S Huck Finn, which was just a raft.

"This is the luxury liner?" Rocky looked at the raft.

"What did you expect for seventeen cents?" Boris asked. "The Queen Mary?"

"How undignified for travel." Peabody remarked.

"Heavens no." Bullwinkle said "That's not enough room for all four of us."

"Bye bye." Boris ran away.

As soon as Rocky and his friends were out of sight, Natahsa came right to Boris.

"Boris are they on their way to Peaceful Valley?" Natasha asked her partner.

"Yes Natasha," Boris said "Now we have to find a way to beat them to it."

"How?" Natasha asked.

"The answer is right here behind this conviently placed bush." Boris tossed the bush out of the way.

It was a rocket ship made out of scrap metal.

"A rocket?" Natasha asked "How does it work dollink?"

"First we get in seat," Boris explained.

Natasha got in her seat "Right?"

"Then, we figure angle of fire," He continued.

"Right." Natasha nodded.

"Let's see," Boris started writing some numbers down "Two times two is four, seven times eight is fifty four, subract seven, carry four, AHA! We launch it at 33 degrees."

Natasha could see Boris' calculation was flawed "But Boris-"

Boris struck a match "Now we light fuse."

And just as that, Boris struck a match and they were launched into the air.

"But Boris," Natasha said "Seven times eight isn't fifty four, is fifty SIX!"

"Oh Natasha," Boris sighed "You know what that means?"

"No." Natasha answered.

Just then, the rocket exploded and the two fiends parachuted to the snowy ground. But the wiley Boris wasn't going to give up so easy and soon was reclining in a carriage with Natasha pulling it.

"Faster Natasha! Faster Natasha!" Boris shouted.

"Boris," She panted "You sure this is good for the figure?"

"Yes." Boris said "By the time we get to Missouri, you will have hips just like MM's."

"Marylin Monroe?" She asked.

"No, Minnie Mouse." Boris said.

And so in just a few days of traveling on a freezing river, our boys found themselves and their tiny raft on the tiny shore of Missouri.

"Here we are." Peabody said pointed to the sign for Missouri.

As soon as our heroes got onto shore, they went into town and saw a banner that said "WELCOME TO PEACEFUL VALLEY".

"Looks like we were expected." Sherman looked at the sign. "I only have one question Mr. Peabody."

"What is that Sherman?" Peabody asked his boy.

"Where is everyone?" Sherman asked.

Yes, for indeed there was nobody in sight. But though our heroes couldn't see anybody, it was soon apparent that everyone saw them. For at that very moment, guns were aimed towards them.

* * *

 **AND NOW TIME FOR SOMETHING WE KNOW YOU'LL REALLY LIKE!**

 **THE ROCKY, BULLWINKLE, AND MR. PEABODY FAN CLUB**

 **Bullwinkle** : Hello everyone! Bullwinkle Moose here to have an announcement of the Q&A. Um, the Questions and Answers thing has been delayed. But make sure to still ask questions for the club! Ask questions for Me, Rocky, Sherman, Mr. Peabody, and Penny! Post your questions for one or each of the characters in the reviews! I'm terribly sorry for the delay, but that's the way it has to be. In the meantime though, lets here a modern day poet from the modern day poet of Queens, New York named Curtis James Jackson III or may know him as...50 Cent.

 **Sherman** : (hands Bullwinkle a poetry book) Here you go Uncle Bullwinkle!

 **Bullwinkle** : (takes the book from Sherman) Thank you Sherman. Here's one entitled Many Men!

(Bullwinkle clears his throat and starts to read)

 **Bullwinkle** : Many men, wish death upon me. Blood in my eye dog and I can't see, I'm trying to be what I'm destined to be. And nig-WHOA!

(Bullwinkle searches through the book and the room becomes silent).

 **Bullwinkle** : (tosses away the book) Ooooo...kay then. Next week the complete works of Mr. Nelly! That is all for today folks!

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Stay tuned for our next chapter, "Mud Munching Moose" or "Bullwinkle Bites"**


	7. Chapter 7

Well our boys finally made it to Peaceful Valley, Missouri and found it to be a lovely town. What with the decorations in the public square and all.

"There's just one that concerns me guys," Rocky said to his friends.

"What is it Uncle Rocky?" Sherman asked the plucky squirrel.

"Where is everybody?" Rocky asked.

True, there was nobody in sight at all. If they only knew that there were people in their houses were people with guns.

"What do you think they be Caylub?" Asked a hillbilly "Be they Floys or ain't they?"

"I have no idea." Said the other hillbilly "In my feuding book, there ain't nothing about Floys with antlers or bushy tails or glasses."

"Well whatever it is, we can't take no chances." Caylub said.

"But what if you kill them and they're not Floys?" asked the other hilbilly.

"We could always apologize." Caylub shrugged.

And meanwhile on the other side of the square, the opposing families, the Floys were watching with guns pointed.

"Speak up Everett!" said the first hillbilly "Be they Halfuls or ain't they?"

"Well one of them looks like a hat rack." said another Floy.

"Close enough." the other Floy aimed his gun at Bullwinkle.

Of course, our heroes were blissfully unaware of the danger that was going on until Mr. Peabody noticed...

"Guys this isn't for MooseCon at all!" He announced.

"They're not?" Bullwinkle asked.

"No." said Peabody "They're celebrating the 150th anniversary of the feud!"

"What feud?" Rocky asked Peabody.

"This feud!" Mr. Peabody pointed to the sign and read it "Happy 150th Anniversary. In Memory of 150 Years of Bloodshed. It's the Hatfuls vs. the Floys!"

"An 150 year old feud?!" Sherman exclaimed.

Bullwinkle came back with a wreth "Here's something cute guys; 'There's no feud like an old feud'."

But Bullwinkle wouldn't have been so carefree if he knew that Peaceful Valley was indeed a no man's land in the biggest feud ever fought.

"While we're waiting, why don't I take your picture in front of the statue Uncle Bullwinkle?" Sherman took out a camera from his coat.

"Sure." Bullwinkle leaped and made a pose.

"Let me just turn the camera on." Sherman turned on the camera and tried to set the lense.

"Come on already!" Bullwinkle kept his pose "Shoot!"

"What?" Sherman asked.

"Shoot! Shoot!" Bullwinkle chanted.

Of course, the Hatfuls and the Floys had heard this whole thing and started up their shotguns, while our heroes were stuck in the middle of the square.

"Hokey smokes gang!" Rocky gasped "We're stuck in the middle of the feud!"

"Guns are shooting everywhere Mr. Peabody!" Sherman added "I'm scared!"

"That does it!" Peabody stood on two legs "Everyone let's get outta here! If we stay here longer, our deaths will be very graphic!"

"Yes Mr. Peabody!" Sherman followed his master.

"Right behind ya buddy!" Bullwinkle added.

"Same here." Rocky finished.

And our boys crawled under a hay of lead to the outskirts of town and escaped the feud. Meanwhile inside the Hatfuls' house, they kept shooting just like the Floys.

"Con flobbit!" said one of the Hatfuls "They got away! You'd think they was TV heroes!"

But then, a messager ran in.

"Paul!" He called "Paul!"

"Speak up Clyde!" said the Hatful "Don't mumble."

"The Floys is shooting at those two." the messanger explained.

"Golly." said the other Hatful "They must be on our side."

But at that same time, the Floys stopped shooting at our heroes and assumed that Mr. Peabody and his friends were on their side. And so, a deathly hush occured over the town of Peaceful Valley.

"Couldn't you make it a better hush?" Bullwinkle asked the narrator.

"Come on Bullwinkle!" Rocky said "Now's our chance! Let's get outta here!"

"Everybody back to the raft!" Peabody ran towards the river.

"And there's our ticket back to the raft guys!" Bullwinkle pointed to a sign that said 'CITY LIMITS'.

"Careful my friends." Mr. Peabody stopped Bullwinkle "It might be a booby trap."

Sherman chuckled "Heh heh. You said 'booby'."

"Quiet you!" Peabody scolded Sherman "There might people hiding behind that sign."

"Nonsense." Bullwinkle said "How could anyone hide behind that sign?"

Just then, the Hatfuls popped right out of the sign aiming guns at our heroes.

"It's the Hatfuls!" Rocky exclaimed.

"They ain't on our side Paul!" said one of the Hatfuls "Look! They got no beards!"

"But I'm a dog!" Peabody said "I'm covered in beard!"

"When did you start?" asked Paul.

"Just a few minutes ago." Bullwinkle answered.

"What about you two?" Paul pointed to Rocky and Mr. Peabody.

"We abort violence." Peabody responded.

"And I'm a little frail." Rocky added.

"We deal with pacifists and frail guys as well!" Paul turned to Sherman "And you kid! When did you start?"

"But I can't be in the war!" Sherman said "I'm just a kid!"

"We fight children as well." Paul glared at them "Take em away Callub!"

"Where to?" Callub pointed a gun behind Bullwinkle.

"Where else?" Paul said "To Devil Dan!"

Our heroes were forcibly escorted to Devil Dan's place with their hands up and the Hatfuls pointing their shotguns at them.

* * *

 **THE ROCKY, BULLWINKLE, MR. PEABODY, AND SHERMAN FAN CLUB Q &A!**

 **Rocky** : Welcome everyone to the Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody, and Sherman Fan Club Questions and Answers! I'm Rocky the Flying Squirrel, your gray host with the most. Next to me are my good friends!

(points to Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody, Sherman, and Penny standing next to him)

Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody, Sherman, and Penny: Hello everyone!

 **Mr. Peabody** : We are here to answer your questions from you fans!

 **Bullwinkle** : So come on Rock! Bring them all up!

 **Rocky** : Sorry Bullwinkle, only one fan asked questions.

 **Bullwinkle** : And who, pray tell is that?

 **Rocky** : The Heart of Demons.

 **Sherman** : So much for having adoring fans. But at least one fan asked some questions.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Rocky my dear boy why don't you go read them?

 **Rocky** : Sure, I'll do it.

(Rocky goes to the computer and reads the story's reviews)

 **Rocky** : The first question is for Mr. Peabody and Sherman.

 **Sherman** : What's it say Uncle Rocky?

 **Rocky** : It's asking if you two will have any new adventures by yourselves.

 **Mr. Peabody** : New solo adventures? Well Heart of Demons, you never know. Sherman could use a new walk in the WABAC.

 **Sherman** : Yeah! It would be pretty fantastic.

 **Rocky** : Here's his next question. It's for Jessie and Marcie!

 **Bullwinkle** : But they're not here.

 **Peabody** : Aahhh, Jessie.

 **Penny** : What's it say anyways?

 **Rocky** : He's wondering if they'll return. Well they will sometime in the future. After all, we love em!

 **Sherman** : Especially Mr. Peabody. He has the biggest crush on Je-

 **Peabody** : Quiet you!

 **Rocky** : The next one is for all of us!

 **Bullwinkle** : What is it?

 **Rocky** : It's asking if we'll encounter an even bigger villain!

Bullwinkle, Sherman, Mr. Peabody, and Penny: AN EVEN BIGGER VILLAIN?!

 **Rocky** : Someone even bigger than Boris, Natasha, and Fearless Leader!

 **Bullwinkle** : Jeepers. An even more vile villain in our story? That's an interesting question!

 **Sherman** : A story like that sounds pretty fantastic.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Quite intriguing.

 **Penny** : And awesome! Author if you're listening, please put me in that story.

 **Rocky** : And the last one is for Mr. Peabody!

 **Mr. Peabody** : For me? What does it say Rocky?

 **Rocky** : This one is a doozy! This one is my favorite!

 **Mr. Peabody** : What does it say?!

 **Rocky** : It's asking if you and Jessie will bond more.

 **Peabody** : M-m-meaning?

 **Penny** : Our fan is wondering if you and Jessie will ever become boyfriend and girlfriend.

 **Peabody** : I-I-I-I well...

 **Rocky** : Oh snap! That's all the time we have for right now. But remember kids, there will be another Q&A real soon! And thanks for coming to the Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody, and Sherman Fan Club!

 **Penny** : (whispers to Peabody) Mr. Peabody, when ARE you going to tell Jessie you love her?

 **Mr. Peabody** : W-w-w-well...I-I-I-I-um...

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Well be with us for our next chapter! Unfortunately, we didn't get to hear the last question get answered. But as I said, that is a story you'll need to wait for folks! Be patient Heart of Demons, your question about Peabody and Jessie will be answered very soon. All you gotta do is wait a little longer. IF you wait just a bit longer, you'll have you'll get your question answered which you so desire!**


	8. Chapter 8

Last time you remember, our heroes found themselves in the middle of an old Missouri feud between the Hatfuls and Floys. They were being shot at from near and far and when they were going to get out of town, they were stopped by the Hatfuls. Now they're being taken by the leader of the clan, Devil Dan Hatful himself.

"Or you can jump off this here icy cliff." said one of the Hatfuls.

"I think I'll take my chances with Devil Dan." said Sherman.

"Sherman, that's the smartest thing you've ever said." Mr. Peabody told his boy.

"Where is this Devil Dan anyways?" Rocky asked the Hatfuls.

"Over at that shack." another Hatful pointed to the shack on the neraby hill.

And inside of that shack, Devil Dan Hatful was...hey you're not Devil Dan!

"What're you talking about?" the man asked the narrator "I am Devil Dan."

"Don't be sneaking up on me buddy!" said the man.

But you're really...

"Really who?" The man pointed a double bullet shotgun at the narrator.

You're DEVIL DAN!

"That's what I thought." said Devil Dan.

Just then, the door knocked.

"Who is it?" asked Devil Dan.

"It be Callub, Devil Dan." said the man at the door. "We have a couple of outsiders we're bringing to you."

"Who are these outsiders?" asked Devil Dan.

"A moose, a squirrel, a dog, and a little boy." said Callub.

"A moose, a squirrel, a dog, and a little boy?" asked Devil Dan "Bring them in!"

And our heroes entered the shack to find themselves staring at the barell of a double bullet shotgun.

"And what's worse, it's staring back!" Bullwinkle added.

"Are you Devil Dan?" Rocky asked Devil Dan.

"You'd better believe it!" said Devil Dan. "Couldn't you tell by the beard?"

"My dad used to have a beard like that." said Sherman.

"But that voice," said Rocky "I could've sworn..."

"Well goodbye." said Devil Dan "Nice meeting you."

"Goodbye?" Rocky asked Devil Dan "You mean you're gonna stand us up against the wall and blast us?"

"Of course not." said Devil Dan "I stand you against wall inside and do it."

"Well that's more like it." said Bullwinkle.

"Quiet you!" Peabody scolded Bullwinkle.

"You're really gonna do it?" Sherman asked Devil Dan.

"Of course." said Devil Dan "Is old redneck tradition. On top of Old Smokey all covered with curls! I'm shooting the lives right out of mooses, dogs, children, and squirrels!"

Just then, the phone rang.

"Aw great." He grunted "Just when I was about to make my move."

Devil Dan went over to the phone and answered it.

"What do you want?!" He shouted.

"I am looking for that nitwit Boris Badenov!" said the man on the other line.

"Who wants to know?!" Devil Dan rudely asked. "Who is this?!"

"Fearless Leader!" said the man "That's who! Who is this?!"

"Idiot speaking." Boris gulped.

As you might've guessed by now, Devil Dan was really Boris in disguise, not a surprise though.

"Have you made contact with moose, squirrel, dog, and boy yet?" Fearless Leader asked.

"I'm about to." Boris answered.

"Listen Badenov!" Fearless Leader barked "You must keep them safe and sound until I arrive!"

"Till you arrive?" Boris asked, confused.

"Of course!" Fearless Leader said "You didn't think I was going to let you handle this on your own did you?"

Boris gulped "You mean I got to be...nice."

"Yes!" Fearless Leader barked.

And when our heroes turned around, they had been pleading for their lives.

"Don't hurt us Mr. Hatful!" Rocky begged "We'll do anything."

"Yeah!" Sherman said "I haven't even started second grade yet!"

"Tut tut." Boris told them "Can't you take a joke?"

"A joke?!" Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody, and Sherman glared at him.

"Sure." Boris said "See the gun isn't even loaded!"

Boris turned the gun to his face and pulled the trigger, which caused him to become black with soot.

"...now." He got dizzy.

And while our heroes pondered the sudden change In Devil Dan Hatful (or Boris, rather), thousands of miles away, a sinister missile from thousands of miles away was being launched from it's missile pad. Fearless Leader was inside of the missile talking to his professor.

"Are you sure you want to do this Fearless Leader?" asked the professor.

"Of course Professor!" Fearless Leader said "We musn't leave Badenov alone anymore!"

"Very well," said the professor "But I didn't think-"

"YOU DON'T THINK PROFESSOR!" Fearless Leader barked at the professor "Get this thing off the ground or else!"

"Yes Fearless Leader." the professor ran out of the missile.

And with a roar, the sleek black missile was launched off the ground. It's destination...Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody, and Sherman!

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Before I tell you what not to miss, I want you guys to do something for me!**

 **I've got some writers block! If anyone has any ideas about the next story or a future story, please share with me! I'd love to hear ideas from my fans. Thank you.**

 **Be with us next time for "Calling Fearless Leader" or "Whistle for the Missile"!**


	9. Chapter 9

Well our heroes are all tangled up in another plot. They've been caught in a feud between the Hatfuls and the Floys. They've been captured by one of the clan's leaders, Devil Dan Hatful.

"Who looks a lot like Boris Badenov." Boris looked at the readers.

The diguised Boris got a shock when he got a call from Fearless Leader, telling him to keep our heroes safe until he arrived. That's why we find the boys unknowingly having dinner with their worst enemy.

"Here." Boris put a chicken drumstick on Rocky's plate "Have some more chicken. Plenty more where that came from."

"Where'd it come from?" asked Rocky.

"An egg." Bullwinkle answered.

"Actually," said Boris "It actually came from the neighbors' chicken coup."

Meanwhile thousands of miles away from this feast, Fearless Leader was planning to make his way to Peaceful Valley in the fastest way possible- by rocket!

"We musn't leave Badenov alone." Fearless Leader told the professor "Fire one!"

"But Fearless Leader," the professor tried to explain "I think-"

"You don't think!" Fearless Leader shouted "You do what I tell you!"

"Well, you're the boss." said the professor.

The professor pressed a red button on the control panel and the missile was skyrocketed into the air.

"Professor." said a guard "That was a perfect shot."

"Yes." the professor pointed to his computer monitor "He's in orbit right now."

"In orbit?!" the guard slapped his head "But that means he can't get down."

Yes it's true! The missile had gone into orbit and was circling the earth at tremendous speed.

"Professor what were you thinking?!" the guard shouted.

"Fearless Leader told me not to." the professor confessed.

"Come with me!" the guard dragged the professor.

"But I was just obeying orders from Fearless Leader." the professor begged.

"Then you will the most loyal Pottsylvanian we ever executed." the guard dragged the professor to a very dark room.

But let's cut the curtains on this painful scene and go back to Peaceful Valley, where Devil Dan is growing impaitient.

"Excuse me," said Boris "I need to go do something."

Boris ran into the other room.

"Gee he's a prince." said Bullwinkle.

"I think he's a double crossing, no good killer!" said Rocky.

"Yeah!" Sherman said "Why would he try to kill us and then be hospitable?"

"He's a pretty suspicious character." added Mr. Peabody.

"But he sure is a prince." Bullwinkle kept eating.

Meanwhile in the other room, Boris was beating himself against the wall.

"Boris dollink," said Natasha "Why are you beating your head against wall?"

"I hate being nice to people." said Boris "I need to hurt someone."

"But why yourself?" asked Natasha.

"I was hammy." Boris shrugged.

But at that very moment, Boris and Natasha heard a very familiar voice.

"GET ME DOWN FROM THIS CONTRAPTION OR I'LL HAVE THE HEAD OF EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD IN THE COUNTRY!" the voice shouted.

"Natasha did you hear what I hear?" Boris asked Natasha.

"I hope not." Natasha gulped.

In the other room, Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman heard that voice as well.

"Guys did you see what I saw?" Rocky pointed to the window.

"Yeah!" said Sherman "It was some sort of rocket."

"Let's go outside and see what it is!" said Mr. Peabody. "It's coming again!"

The four friends ran outside into the snowy mountain and saw the missile fly by again. Yes, the missile containing Fearless Leader was orbiting Peaceful Valley every few minutes.

"Mr. Peabody! Uncle Rocky! Uncle Bullwinkle!" Sherman pointed to the sky "That's an orbiting satellite."

"It looks more a man in a rocket to me." said Mr. Peabody.

"It was!" Rocky said "And he's stuck up there. He might be going on forever."

"So?" asked Bullwinkle. "Maybe he likes to travel."

"But he might starve to death." said Sherman.

"Well that's different." Bullwinkle ran back into the shack "Let's get a large cannon."

"You're not going to shoot him down, are you?" asked Mr. Peabody.

"No!" Bullwinkle came back with a chicken drumstick "I'm gonna shoot a chicken leg up to him."

"What?" asked Rocky, Mr. Peabody and Sherman, confused.

"Sort of a guided drumstick." Bullwinkle ate the drumstick.

"Well I have a better idea." said Peabody.

"You always do." Bullwinkle took another bite out of the drumstick.

"Rocky can fly up there and rescue him." Peabody explained.

"That's a better idea?" Bullwinkle finished eating the drumstick.

Meanwhile, at the Peaceful Valley woods, two hunters had been looking for some game. Even though all the animals of the forest had been hibernating, since it is the middle of winter.

"Hey!" said the first hunter "Something's coming up there, Clem."

"I'll shoot it Arlo!" the other hunter pointed his gun to the sky.

"It don't look like a duck." said Arlo.

"What do you mean?" asked Clem.

"It ain't got no wings, no feathers, no beak, and it's 50 feet long." Arlo explained.

"Well it's the only that has showed up all winter." said Clem.

"You're right Clem." said Arlo.

Both Arlo and Clem shot Fearless Leader with their double bullet shotguns. Luckily, it only shot Fearless Leader's sleeves.

"HOW DARE YOU, YOU CLUMSY FOOLS?!" Fearless Leader ranted from the sky "I'LL HAVE YOU DRAWN AND QUARTERED AND-"

"You know what Arlo?" asked Clem.

"What is it Clem?" asked Clem.

"It didn't sound like a duck either." said Arlo.

Meanwhile back at the shack, Rocky was ready to put Mr. Peabody's plan into action!

"Ready guys?" Rocky put on his goggles.

"Ready Rock!" Bullwinlkle held out his arms.

"Ready as well ever be." Peabody added.

"Yes Uncle Rocky!" Sherman said.

Rocky charged into his friends' arms and they threw Rocky right into air, just as the missile came into view once again. But Fearless Leader, thinking Rocky was an American anit-missile missile, began to unleash a deadly weapon.

"That is my anti-anti-missile missile." He told the narrator.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Oh boy! This is getting serious! Stay tuned next time for "Rocky Takes the High Road" or "Missile in the Thistle"!**


	10. Chapter 10

Well last time, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman had launched Rocky up into the air in a desperate attempt to intersept a missile, which was carrying Fearless Leader himself. But the evil villain thought Rocky was an American anti-missile missile and began to assemble his secret weapon, an anti-anti missile missile.

"This the last time I get weapon out of a cereal box." he said.

But the plucky squirrel, unaware of the danger he was in, caught up with the speeding satelite and tried to slow it down.

Meanwhile, Boris and Natasha were eavesdropping on the missile and Rocky.

"Boris!" Natasha looked through some binoculars "That is our fearless leader!"

"You were expecting Jimi Hendrex?" Boris shrugged.

"Oh, I hope he gets down." said Natahsa.

"Me too." said Boris "If he dies, I'll become the fearless leader and-"

Boris ran right out of the shack.

"Boris where are you going?" asked Natasha.

"I am going to stop that squirrel." said Boris "He's going to ruin my career."

And Boris anxious for the promotion dashed out of the shack and into the snowy outdoors.

"If I can keep Fearless Leader orbiting Earth from now on, I get to wear monocle." He said.

High above, Rocky was pushing against the nose-cone trying to slow it down, but to no avail and the end, Fearless Leader had finished his anti-anti missile missile missile and aimed it right directly at the unwitting squirrel. Luckily, Rocky saw an old lady far below him who was trying to cross the street. And as we know, all animated heroes help old ladies across the street before anything else.

At that same time, Mr. Peabody, Sherman and Bullwinkle had been watching the whole thing happen.

"What on Earth is Rocky doing?" Peabody looked through binoculars.

"I think he's going to save that old lady Mr. Peabody." said Sherman.

"But that was not part of the plan!" said Mr. Peabody "He is supposed to be stopping that rocket."

Sherman looked through the binoculars "You know, I think it's a good thing he's doing it. Look!"

Mr. Peabody took back the binoculars and saw the missile.

"Your story checks out." He remarked.

So Rocky left his post and flew right down and Fearless Leader pulled the trigger. Of course he missed. But the recoil was enough to stop the forward motion of the satellite and can you guess what that means?

"Any Pottsylvanian schoolkid could tell you." Fearless Leader told the narrator "When the progressive in air should momentum of an orbiting vehicle is dimminished, the gravitaional declaration increases as pi times the square root of 871."

Meaning.

"I fall down." Fearless Leader started sweating.

And indeed the missile fell down like a rock. Meanwhile, Rocky had just finished helping the old lady across the street.

"You said it." said the old lady "I mean...why thank you young man."

"You sure have a deep voice for an old lady." Rocky pointed out.

"I know," said the old lady "I have been feeling a little low lately."

"Well are you sure this is the place you want to stop at?" Rocky asked the old lady.

"Sure." said the old lady "I am exactly where I should be."

And he was. At that moment, the wrecked missile dropped right on Boris. Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman

"Hokey smoke!" Rocky jumped into Bullwinkle's arms.

"Golly." Sherman added.

"We lose more old ladies that way." Bullwinkle remarked.

But to Rocky's shock when the missile opened, who should appear than Devil Dan (Boris Badenov) and a certain sinister figure wearing a monocole, who started chasing Devil Dan with a gun.

"You know what guys?" Sherman asked the others.

"What is it Sherman?" asked Mr. Peabody.

"I don't this Devil Dan person is ever gonna stop feuding." said Sherman.

"Sherman is right you know" Peabody told his friends "Maybe we should visit the head of the other family."

"You mean Felonious Floyd?" asked Bullwinkle.

"Precisely, my dear boy." said Peabody "Come on, let's look for him."

"Yeah," said Rocky "Maybe he'll stop the feud."

Meanwhile inside Devil Dan's shack...

"So, you were trying to get of me, eh Badenov?" Fearless Leader glared at Boris.

"Who me, dear old boss man?" Boris stammered and kissed Fearless Leader's boot.

"Stop drooling on my boots!" Fearless Leader kicked Boris off.

"Me trying to get rid of you, dear chiefy boy?" Boris chuckled nervously "Never in a million years."

"THEN TAKE OFF THAT MONOCOLE!" Fearless Leader shouted.

However, the monocole shattered off of Boris' eye.

"Now that I have arrived, we proceed with phase two of my master plan." said Fearless Leader "You have moose, squirrel, dog and boy here?"

"Of course, Fearless Leader." said Boris.

"Where?" Fearless Leader barked.

Boris searched all over the shack, but didn't find them anywhere.

"They were here a second ago." Boris tried to explain.

"Boris, dollink!" Natahsa pointed to outside of the window "There they go!"

Natasha saw Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman running in the snow to the Floy's teritory.

"Bring them back here Badenov!" Fearless Leader barked "Right now! Dead or alive!"

"I have a choice?" Boris smiled.

Meanwhile outside in the freezing cold as our heroes were heading for the cabin of Felonious Floy, they heard some barking, and it wasn't from Mr. Peabody.

"Bloodhounds!" Mr. Peabody gasped.

"But how?" asked Bullwinkle.

"Being a dog myself, we can pick up our scent." said Mr. Peabody "My guess is that they've picked up Bullwinkle's scent."

And the dogs came nearer and nearer followed by Boris Badenov who was loaded with a double bullet shoutgun for bear.

"Or moose rather." He said to the narrator.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Now before I say it, I want to ask you fans something. Do you have any ideas for stories? I've got four new ideas, but I need your help for other ones to keep these things flowing. If you have any ideas at all, post them in the reviews and I'll inform you on which ones I decide to use. Now time to say it:**

 **Be with us next time for "Dollars and Scents" or "Putting on the Dog!"**


	11. Chapter 11

Alright, let's see if we can get this story straight.

Part 1. Bullwinkle was invited to a moose convention in Peaceful Valley, Missouri.

Part 2. When he, Rocky, Mr. Peabody and Sherman arrived, they found themselves in the middle of a feud between the Hatfuls and the Floys.

Part 3. They were seized by the Hatfuls and taken to the shack of the leader, Devil Dan Hatful who was really Boris Badenov in disguise.

Part 4. Boris' superior, Fearless Leader showed up just when our heroes made their getaway.

Everyone understand now?

"Yes." said everyone.

"Then explain it to me." said Bullwinkle.

But little or no explanation was needed when our heroes heard a dreadful sound behind them.

"That sounds like trouble." said Rocky.

"Yes, I believe I know what it is," said Mr. Peabody "Bloodhounds."

"Mr. Peabody, you're a dog" Sherman told his master "Maybe you can drive them away."

"I'll see what I can do." Mr. Peabody cleared his throat.

Peabody howled at the bloodhounds and they turned the other way.

"Arrrooooo." Peabody howled at the bloodhounds from far away.

"What did you tell him, Mr. Peabody?" Bullwinkle asked Peabody.

"I told them there was a butcher shop down on Route 37." he said.

Just then, Rocky's eyes spotted a tiny house with a sign that said "FELONIOUS FLOY! NO REPUBLICANS!"

"Guys, this is Felonious Floy's house." said Sherman.

"I see that Sherman." said Mr. Peabody.

"Maybe he'll stop this awful feud." suggested Rocky.

And our heroes dashed up to the door and knocked on it.

"Who is there?!" shouted the voice from inside the house.

"What the?" asked Sherman.

"Bullwinkle," Rocky turned to the moose "That voice. Do you think?"

"I heardly do." said Bullwinkle.

But just then, the door swung open and out came the man, who was once again, Boris in disguise.

"What'll it be strangers?" asked Boris.

"You're Felonious Floy?" asked Rocky.

"Don't I look like Felonious Floy?" asked the man.

"You look more like a dry mop." Bullwinkle remarked.

"We were running away from Devil Dan Hatful." Rocky explained.

"Yeah, in fact you look an awful lot like him." Bullwinkle pointed out.

"Actually, we are cousins twice removed." said Boris. "One's in Alabama and one's in Alcatraz."

"I think we'd better go." said Mr. Peabody.

"Is alright." said Boris "Drop in anytime."

"Like when?" asked Bullwinkle.

"Like right now." said Boris.

And as Boris pulled a lever, activating a trap door that sent our heroes into the cellar, and in an instant, Fearless Leader and the bloodhounds arrived in time.

"Welcome Fearless Leader." Boris said to his boss.

"Badenov!" Fearless Leader shouted "You are on both sides of the feud?"

"Sure." Boris showed his disguises "This way, I'm a Hatful. This way, I'm a Floy."

"Congradulations Badenov." said Fearless Leader "You have won the Pottsylvania Two Face medal for double crossing."

Fearless Leader pinned the medal right into the inside of his coat, which had a bunch of medals.

"Oh boy!" Boris jumped for joy "That makes 94 medals. Six more and I get a second ten yo-yo."

"Badenov!" said Fearless Leader "You are one lucky spy you!"

Meanwhile, our heroes were lying stunned in the vegetable cellar underneath the house.

"W-where am I?" Bullwinkle gasped.

"Didn't you hear the narrator, Uncle Bullwinkle?" Sherman asked Bullwinkle "We're in a vegetable cellar."

"What?" Bullwinkle shouted.

Rocky, Mr. Peabody and Sherman saw carrots in Bullwinkle's ears.

"You got carrots in your ears Bullwinkle." Rocky pointed to Bullwinkle.

"What?" Bullwinkle asked. "Two lot parrots sin more steers?"

"There are carrots in your ears!" Rocky shouted.

"I can't hear you." said Bullwinkle "There are carrots in my ears."

But that wasn't the least of Bullwinkle's problems, because at that very moment, the house was being surrounded by hateful Hatfuls.

"Nice of those guys to lead us to the Floy house." said one of the Hatfuls.

"What're gonna do to them, Hattly?" another Hatful asked.

"We're gonna use Lil Orvie on them." said Hattly.

"Oh no!" gasped the other Hatfuls "Not little Orvie!"

"I'm as mean as they come Hattly," said another Hatful "But that's gone too far."

"This is no time to get all John F. Kennedy on me." said Hattly "Bring out little Orvie."

And with Hattly Hatful leading them, the clan weild up Lil Orvie, an gigantic Civil War cannon.

"What shall we fill it with Hattly?" asked a Hatful.

"Anything that's useful." said Hattly.

And so the Hatfuls filled Lil Orvie with broken bottles, bricks, Molitav cocktails, dynamite, red peppers and thumb tacks.

"I'll drop in this anvil just to give it some pizzaz." Hattly dropped an anvil into Little Orvie.

In a short while, Little Orvie was ready to be fired. The fuse was lit, the Hatfuls ran for cover, and as soon as the fuse burned it's last quarter inch, Bullwinkle Moose stuck his head right in front of the muzzle!

* * *

 **AND NOW FOR SOMETHING WE HOPE YOU'LL REALLY LIKE!**

 **THE ROCKY, BULLWINKLE AND MR. PEABODY FAN CLUB**

 **Rocky** : Welcome to the Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody Fan Club!

 **Bullwinkle** : We are here with a special announcement in today's meeting.

 **Sherman** : And here to give us the special news is none other than my dad, Mr. Peabody!

[Mr. Peabody and Sherman walk up to the stage and speaks into the mike]

 **Mr. Peabody** : Greetings, Peabody here. I am here to give you a special announcement!

 **Sherman** : And I'm Sherman, Mr. Peabody's boy. I'm here to listen to the special annoucement.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Please Sherman, let me talk. Anyways, Dreamworks Animation and Bullwinkle Studios have joined forces and have made a new show about me and Sherman on Netflix.

 **Sherman** : And here's our author, to tell us all about it!

 **Bullwinkle** : Take it away author guy!

 **Me** : Thank you Bullwinkle!

 **Bullwinkle** : You are ever so welcome.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Now do tell us about the show.

 _"The classically popular Mr. Peabody returns to television in his first incarnation in over 55 years! This time, he is hosting a late night talk show in his New York penthouse with interviews from famous historical figures! Plus, his boy Sherman is starring in his own segments of the show. However, something crazy will always get in the way of Mr. Peabody's plans for a perfect show, including his neighbors and guest stars! Join Mr. Peabody and his trusty boy, Sherman on their new adventures in the WABAC machine on the Mr. Peabody & Sherman Show! Only on Netflix!"_

 **Mr. Peabody** : And it all starts today! Only on Netflix.

 **Sherman** : I can't wait for you guys to see Sherman's Corner. I've got so many things to show you!

 **Bullwinkle** : Hey Rocky!

 **Rocky** : Yes Bullwinkle?

 **Bullwinkle** : How come we haven't been revived yet?

 **Rocky** : To be honest Bullwinkle, I have no idea. Well that's all for the Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody Fan Club!

 **Everyone** : See you next time!

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **I'll tell you what I think about the new series as soon as I watch the episodes. In the meantime, stay tuned for our next chapter "One of Our Mooses is Missing" or "Heads You Lose"!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:**

 **Before we start folks, I have to tell you something. I saw the Mr. Peabody and Sherman Show, all 13 episodes. I told you I'd tell you what I think and now I'm gonna do it.**

 **I won't say that it's a terrible show, but I definetly don't like it at all.**

 **Why do I hate it you ask? Well, I'm glad you did! Cause I'm about to tell you all of my reasons.**

 **1\. This is DreamWorks' poor and ignorant attempt at bringing Mr. Peabody into the 21st century. Either they didn't bother to watch the real show or they wanted to make this as modern as possible. First, they ruin VeggieTales, then they do Noddy and now they ruin Mr. Peabody! What's next? Felix the Cat? Although that CGI Rocky and Bullwinkle short wasn't so bad.**

 **2\. The animation sucks, it's even worse than the animation in new seasons of Cyberchase. Curse you DHX Media, making poor and ignorant attempts at bringing fun classic characters into the 21st century. First; they ruined George of the Jungle with voice changes, new Johnny Test-type designs and totally rewriting the guys. Next, they ruined Inspector Gadget with a CGI (although I have to admit, it's much better than the CGI in that awful movie, Inspector Gadget's Biggest Caper Ever, the CGI in the 2015 series looks like something from Pixar), not casting Maurice LaMarche as Gadget and totally rewriting the characters. Now, they ruin Mr. Peabody with awful designs and animation. Seriously though, Flash is terrible. Digital ink and paint and hand drawn is the best type of 2D animation.**

 **3\. The characters (especially Sherman) look horrible. Really, who doesn't want to see their favorite classic 2D characters in their original designs and in advanced traditonal 2D? I really wanted to see the designs shown on the Rocky and Bullwinkle merchanside and DVDs and videos in advanced tradtitonal 2D.**

 **4\. The show is so vulgar. Filled with pop culture references, bad character designs, abusing satire (worse than the Boondocks), and horrible animation.**

 **I'm telling ya, I could remake Jay Ward's shows a whole lot better than DreamWorks and DHX could. These stories stand as living proof. I'll tell you more on how very soon. In the meantime, why don't you read this chapter?**

* * *

Well last time, we met Little Orvie, a huge civil war cannon which is now being used as a siege gun in a war between the Hatfuls and the Floys. Little do the spiteful Hatfuls know that there are no Floys within miles, for the only people in the house are Fearless Leader and our arch-nemesis, Boris Badenov, who has disguised himself as Felonious Floy.

"Or Devil Dan Hatful." Boris told the narrator.

But the two villains are unaware of Little Orvie's presence as Boris says...

"I don't mean to pry Fearless Leader, old superior," he told his boss "But why do I got to wear this costume with hillbilly accent?"

"Because Pottsylvania is getting close to gaining the ultimate weapon with which we can rule the world!" Fearless Leader said.

"Sounds yummy!" Boris said "What is it?"

"I have a special, unseen, top secret, high level, unconventional sketch of the ultimate weapon." Fearless Leader pulled out a scroll "Can I trust you with this Badenov?"

"Of course I can." Boris secretly crossed his fingers.

"Then uncross your fingers Badenov!" Fearless Leader pointed a gun at Boris.

"Sorry." Boris blushed "Force of habit."

"Very well," Fearless Leader opened up the scroll "Here is the ultimate weapon."

It was a drawing of a black hat.

"But that's just a hat." said Boris.

"Not just any hat Badenov!" said Fearless Leader "This is the Kirwood Derby!"

Cue fanfare.

"The Kirwood Derby?" asked Boris.

"Shut up you idiot!" Fearless Leader whispered.

"The Kirwood Derby?" Boris whispered to his boss.

"Yes!" Fearless Leader whispered to Boris.

And Fearless Leader told Boris the legend of the amazing bowler. The derby had first been worn 300 million years by a caveman named Oog, who said...

"Me go invent wheel." he said.

And he did. Later on, it went to a guy who Archimedes, who one day in his bath called.

"Eureka!" he exclaimed "I have found it!"

You found the solution of a problem posed by Hiero of Syracuse?

"No you idiot." said Archimedes "I have found the soap."

The Kirwood Derby was owned by Phillip of Macedonia when he conquered the world, by Genghis Khan when he conquered the world, by Julius Ceaser when he conquered the world and Elvis Presely when he...oh you get the picture.

In other words, whoever wore that hat became the smartest person in the whole world.

"So," said Boris "When we get derby..."

"I wear it." Fearless Leader said "And..."

"Pottsylvania will outsmart the world!" said Boris "What're we waiting for? Let's go!"

"There's a catch though." Fearless Leader pulled Boris back.

"Uh-oh." said Boris.

"It must be retrieved by a very special person." Fearless Leader told his henchman.

"That's me boss." Boris pointed to himself.

"Someone with an unusual talent..." Fearless Leader continued.

"That's me!" Boris said again.

"He must be the stupidest blockhead in the world." Fearless Leader finished.

Boris cheered again "That's m- what?"

"This is what!" Fearless Leader showed another photo.

It was a photo of Bullwinkle.

"What?" Boris shouted "That is moose! That idiotic moose, Bullwinkle!"

"Yes" said Fearless Leader "He is the dumbest creature in the world, so he's the one who can lead us to the Kirwood Derby."

"He's worth millions!" Boris exclaimed.

"Billions!" Fearless Leader proclaimed "Where is he Badenov?"

"Inside the cellar Fearless Leader." said Boris.

Fearless Leader pointed to the window "Then who's that out the window?"

Yes outside of the window, Bullwinkle was sticking his head right out of the cellar, right in front of the muzzle of Little Orvie, which was about to be launched.

"Badenov!" barked Fearless Leader "Moose is going to be blasted by that cannon! If moose dies, our plan dies."

"So?" asked Boris.

"If our plan dies, Pottsylvania dies." Fearless Leader continued.

"So?" asked Boris.

"And if Pottsylvania dies, you die!" Fearless Leader pointed a gun at Boris.

"I know when I've been beaten." Boris gulped "Now I must save moose."

And just as that, Boris poked himself right out of the window and swung a club right at Bullwinkle's head, but before he could hit him, Little Orvie was blasted.

Soon enough, nothing was left except for the snow falling on the remains of the house without any signs of our heroes or the villains.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Is this the end? Be with us for our next chapter, "Bullwinkle Makes His Move" or "Going! Going! Gone"**

 **And I can't wait to tell you how I'd remake the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note:**

 **Now before we begin the new chapter, I would like to tell you about how I would redo the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, as I said in the previous chapter.**

 **1\. The show would be in traditional 2D animation, because as I said who doesn't want to see their favorite classic 2D characters in advanced traditional 2D animation? And for the 2D, I would use digital ink and paint.**

 **2\. I'd obviously use the designs from the Rocky and Bullwinkle merchandise such as the DVDs and plush toys. Plus, I can draw them really well.**

 **3\. In each show, there is a seven minute Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon, then a Mr. Peabody cartoon and then the concluding Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon. Occasionally, there would be a Dudley Do-Right cartoon in place of a Peabody one.**

 **4\. Mr. Peabody would remain a quadrupedal and only stand on two legs occasionally and Sherman would be his pet rather than his son.**

 **5\. Here's who I'd cast:**

 *** Grey DeLisle-Griffin as Rocky, Sherman and Nell Fenwick**

 **Listen, I know no one can outdo June Foray, but she's gonna kick the bucket any day now, so there's gotta be someone who can at least try to imitate her and I've listened to Ms. Griffin's acting, I'm sure she'd be an okay role.**

 *** Tom Kenny as Bullwinkle, Gidney, Cloyd and Captain Peachfuzz**

 *** Jeff Bennett as Mr. Peabody and Dudley Do-Right**

 *** Kevin Michael Richardson as Boris**

 *** Lauren Tom as Natasha and Jessie**

 *** Thomas Lennon as Fearless Leader**

 *** Linda Cardellini as Marcie**

 *** Rob Paulsen as Snidley Whiplash and Inspector Fenwick**

 **How would you remake the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show? Tell me please!**

* * *

In our last chapter, the hateful Hatfuls had just fired a cannon named "Little Orvie" at the house of Felonious Floy.

If you'd been reading that chapter, you'd know what was going on at the time, in case you didn't, let's go back a little so we can catch up.

Inside the house before the cannon was shot, Fearless Leader has explained the whole plan to the evil, Boris Badenov aka, Devil Dan Hatful.

"Also, Felonious Floy." Boris told the narrator.

But that way you can't possibly win.

"I always look on the bright side." said Boris. "I can't loose either."

"Shut up Badenov!" barked Fearless Leader "We are after this!"

Fearless Leader showed a scroll to Boris.

"A hat?" asked Boris.

But this wasn't just any hat, this was the Kirwood Derby hat. Whoever wore this hat became the smartest being in existence. The Kirwood Derby had been worn by all the brilliant people of history. Such as Sir Issac Newton:

"I say," said Sir Issac Newton "That proves the law of gravity."

And Galleio.

"The sun it goes round and round the Earth." said Galleio.

Just then, the hat fell on Gallieo.

"No!" he said "What am I thinking? It's the other way around."

Now, it was being pursued by Fearless Leader, but to aquire the Kirwood Derby would need help from the stupidest person alive and that stupid person would be Bullwinkle J. Moose.

"Badenov!" Fearless Leader pointed to the window "The moose is right in front of that cannon!"

And so Boris grabbed a club, smashed Bullwinkle, sending him back into the cellar, just as the gun went off.

KA-BOOM!

And that's where we left off. The gun fired...

"Me, Rocky, Mr. Peabody and Sherman were still in the cellar" said Bullwinkle.

"...And we're stuck up a tree" Fearless Leader said, stuck up in a tree with Boris.

"All the way in the next county" said Boris.

However, a Hatful was on the branch right next to Boris.

"Devil Dan!" said the Hatful "What're you doing here?"

"I be keeping an eye on you, Efren" said Boris.

"My name is Zeke" said the Hatful.

"Shut up" said Boris "Go over to next county and bring back moose."

"Sure thing Devil Dan" Zeke saluted.

"And while you're there, bring back doctor as well" Boris added.

"Sure" said Zeke "He'll have you cured of the grandeurs in no time."

"Grandeurs?" Fearless Leader gasped "That disease is for horses."

"Yep" Zeke slid down the tree "And he's the kinda doctor we got too."

"But we got sprained legs and broken backs" said Boris.

"That may be," said Zeke "But he'll cure you of-"

"Glandurs?" asked Bullwinkle.

"Yep" said Zeke "He's also good on split headlocks and-"

"GET OUTTA HERE!" Boris shouted.

Back at the root cellar, our heroes were trying to find out if they were alone.

"Is the coast clear, Bullwinkle?" Rocky asked Bullwinkle.

"I can't see Rock," said Bullwinkle "But there's no one in sight."

"Good" said Rocky "Let's get outta here."

"Aren't we gonna see Mr. Floy?" asked Bullwinkle.

"I don't think those families will ever stop feuding, Uncle Bullwinkle." said Sherman.

"Gee Sherman," said Peabody "That was very impressive and a very great assumption. Guess I've raised you pretty well."

"Thank you Mr. Peabody" Sherman smiled.

"But anyways, we'd get outta here!" said Rocky.

"Couldn't have said it better myself, Rocky" Peabody jumped out of the cellar, with Sherman following him.

"Besides, Mr. Floy is gone" said Bullwinkle.

"You mean he's not in his house?" asked Mr. Peabody.

"He would," Bullwinkle pointed to the vanished house "But his house is gone as well."

And so, our heroes dashed off in the snowy ground. And let me tell you, it's pretty hard to run in the snow, what with the icy patches and all.

"Say," said Bullwinkle "I wonder whatever happened to the moose convention."

"I think that whole thing was just a hoax" said Rocky.

"They all are," Bullwinkle joked "But only after the business meetings are over. Right Rocky?"

Bullwinkle turned around, but Rocky was gone.

"Rocky?" he asked "Rocky?"

"Uncle Rocky?" Sherman looked "Where's he gone?"

Yes, indeed Rocky was gone! Where could he have gone?

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Stay tuned for our next chapter, "No Moose is Good Moose" or "The Vanishing American"**


	14. Chapter 14

It's a well known fact that the hat makes the man! Be it the rich man, the poor man, space man, thief, soldier or the Indian chief. Yes! Hats are important but the hat we're using in our story is none other than the legendary, Kirwood Derby, which makes anyone the smartest person in the world, and it's being pursued by none other than, Boris Badenov and his fearless leader.

Fearless Leader proclaimed "Once I put on that hat,"

"You will be smart!" said Boris.

"WHAT?!" Fearless Leader barked.

"I mean smarter, dear old chiefy boy" Boris knelt and kissed Fearless Leader's boots "Superior officer pal."

"Badenov!" Fearless Leader barked "You are getting my boots soggy!"

"Sorry" Boris blushed.

"And what happens when I become the smartest thing in the world and put on that hat?" asked Fearless Leader.

"Pottsylvania rules the world!" Boris cheered.

Boris and Fearless Leader put their hats down and started to sing their country's anthem. Sing along if you know the words.

 _Hail, Pottsylvania!_

 _Hail to the Black and the Blue!_

 _Hail, Pottsylvania, sneaky and crooked through and through..._

 _DOWN with the Good Guys, UP with the Boss!_

 _Under the sign of the Triple Cross!_

 _Oh, Hail, Pottsylvania...Hail, Hail, HAIL!_

Just then, some hail started falling on both Boris and Fearless Leader's heads.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Fearless Leader demanded "It's supposed to be snowing not hailing."

"Well you did ask for hail." Boris chuckled.

There's only one flaw in the villain's plan to find the lost hat though, it must be found by the stupidest being alive, which as you remember from our last chapter was none other than Bullwinkle J. Moose.

But then his friend, Rocky suddenly disappeared and a moment later so did Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman. Looks like there's nothing to do left but to start a new series.

"You wouldn't dare?" someone shouted.

Wait a minute! Rocky? Is that you? What's up?

"I am and so are Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman" Rocky told the narrator.

Yes it's true. Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman were hanging from trees high above the ground, where they have been snatched by a bunch of cunning traps in their path.

"But who would trap us?" asked Rocky.

"Upside down, even" Bullwinkle added.

"Well, let's see," Mr. Peabody sarcastically sad "Boris, Natasha, Mr. Big, Dr. Limb Burger, Fearless Leader..."

"Okay," said Rocky "We get it."

"We did it." said someone from on the ground.

"Who are you guys?" Sherman asked the men.

"We be Hatfuls" said one of the Hatfuls.

"But why trap us?" asked Sherman.

"Cause we gotta take you to Devil Dan" said the head Hatful.

"All of us?" asked Mr. Peabody.

"No just you!" said the leader.

And one of the Hatfuls leveled up his double bullet shotgun upward.

"Look out Uncle Bullwinkle!" Sherman shouted.

The Hatful shot up his gun and shot the rope that Bullwinkle was hanging from and he fell down onto the ground.

"They got me!" said Bullwinkle.

"Bullwinkle, they shot your rope" Peabody said sarcastically.

"I know Mr. Peabody," said Bullwinkle "I'm at the end of it too."

"Grab em boys!" said the head Hatful.

The Hatfuls grabbed Bullwinkle and took him into the woods, while Rocky, Peabody and Sherman tried helplessly to get their ropes off their feet.

"I can't get the rope off" Rocky struggled.

"Me neither" Sherman added.

"If I could reach the ropes," said Peabody "I could chew them and get us outta here."

"Well, said Rocky "I guess there's one thing left to do."

And so, the plucky squirrel zoomed upward to the end of his rope and finally, the tree limb snapped and Rocky was free. Except for a ten foot tree branch trailing behind him with an abnormally smart dog and a little boy holding onto it.

"Will you slow down Rocky?" Peabody shouted.

"Golly, Mr. Peabody" said Sherman "This is pretty fantastic"

"Quiet you!" Peabody shouted.

"Hang on Bullwinkle!" Rocky zoomed "We're coming!"

Down the alley oop, Rocky zoomed lower and lower. However, the Hatfuls saw him.

"Run Zeke run!" said one of the Hatfuls "Here comes that pesky squirrel!"

"Well I got just the thing for getting rid of pesky squirrels," said Zeke.

"What's that?" asked the Hatful.

Zeke showed a gun "My pesky squirrel gun. I'll stay here and when he passes us, I'll let him have it.

And sure enough when Rocky came zooming down, Zeke rose to his feet and rose his pistol, but unfortunately, Zeke totally forgot about the trailing tree branch that Sherman and Peabody were holding onto.

Well the branch saved Rocky that time, but then his ears encountered Bullwinkle's captors.

"Hey you guys!" Rocky shouted "Drop that moose!"

"You tell him Uncle Rocky!" Sherman kept holding onto the branch.

"Quiet you!" Mr. Peabody scolded "In case you didn't notice Sherman, we are holding onto this branch for our very lives and we are about to be crashed into a fork in a tree!"

And just a Mr. Peabody just stated, the branch caught in the fork of a tree and Mr. Peabody and Sherman fell right into the snow and Rocky was out of sight.

"Well that takes care of him Alfred" said the head Hatful.

"Good," said Alfred "I could use a squirrel skin hat."

"Never mind that!" said the leader "We have to get this moose to Devil Dan!"

The Hatfuls grabbed Bullwinkle and headed through the woods to a strange little hut where an unpleasant welcoming committee was waiting for him.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Don't miss our next chapter "Hello my Booby" or "Pleased to Beat You"!**


	15. Chapter 15

In our last chapter, Bullwinkle was stolen by a group of hateful Hatfuls. Rocky, Mr. Peabody and Sherman tried to save them, but got into a little tiff with a tree. Now, Bullwinkle is being taken to a hut deep in the woods, where a rather unpleasant reception committee awaits him.

"Okay Fearless Leader," said Boris "How do we get moose to lead us to derby?"

"It is quite simple," said Fearless Leader "We brainwash him."

Sure enough the hapless moose was taken into a room and left with three brainwashers. Hours went by and the door finally opened.

"Alright!" Fearless Leader said to the brainwashers "Moose is brainwashed right?"

"No," said a brainwasher "He is not."

"What do you mean he is not?!" snapped Fearless Leader.

"There is not enough brain to wash." said the brainwasher.

"My head sure feels clean though" Bullwinkle poked out his head.

The closet closed and Boris and Fearless Leader started talking up another strategy.

"Badenov," said Fearless Leader "We must get moose under control."

"Easy bossman," Boris assured him "We use this."

Boris showed a purple box that said "HYPNOSIS KIT"

"What is that?" asked Fearless Leader.

"Is my hypnosis kit." said Boris.

"And pray tell, how does it work?" asked Fearless Leader.

"Is quite simple," Boris showed a buzzer "First I use little buzzer to get attention."

Boris then took out a big stick that looked like a giant swirly lollipop.

"Then I use whirling disk to focus his eyes," he continued.

Finally, Boris put on some weird looking glasses.

"Then, I finish the thing with special goo-goo glasses." he finished. "Pretty smart, eh Fearless Leader?"

Fearless Leader was put into a daze from Boris' hypnosis demonstration.

"FEARLESS LEADER!" he shouted.

Just then, Fearless Leader woke up.

"Huh?" he woke up "What? What were you saying?"

Boris started to talk "Is my hypn-"

"It will never work!" Fearless Leader barked.

"Come on Fearless Leader," said Boris "Give it a shot! What have we got to lose?"

"Billions of dollars and chances for world domination!" said Fearless Leader.

"I mean aside from that" Boris shrugged.

"Very well," said Fearless Leader "Go hypnotize moose!"

And Boris slipped into the room, with Bullwinkle sitting on a chair.

"Hey!" said Bullwinkle "It's Mr. Devil Dan."

Boris gasped. His wig was on his chin, like his Devil Dan disguise. He then put his wig on his head.

"You kidding moose" said Boris "I be Felonious Floy."

"But I could've sworn you had a beard a second ago" said Bullwinkle.

"No," Boris stood on his head "You were just looking at me upside down."

"Now pay attention." Boris pressed the button on the daisy buzzer.

Just then, Bullwinkle froze.

"Now look at the disc!" Boris showed the whirling disk "Look at the disk!"

Bullwinkle was still frozen. He was already in a deep trance.

"You cant be serious!" shouted Boris "I paid two whole dollars for this thing!"

Boris took out the whirling disc and looked at it.

"See," he looked at the disc "You got to look at the whirling disc like this!"

Then, Boris showed the goo goo glasses.

"Then, you gotta look at the glasses when I say 'sleep'." Boris started to get drowsy "Sleep, sleep, sleep."

Boris then fell asleep. About an hour later, Fearless Leader entered the room and saw two figures sitting in a trance.

"Badenov!" Fearless Leader slapped Boris "Badenov! Wake up! Wake up!"

Boris woke up "Oh its you Fearless Leader!"

"Get to work on that moose!" Fearless Leader snapped.

"Yes!" Boris ran to Bullwinkle and moved his hands in a strange pattern "You are going to look for a derby, you are going to look for a derby."

"Yeah, yeah" said a brainwashed Bullwinkle "Derby"

Meanwhile back in the snowy woods, Rocky, Mr. Peabody and Sherman had gotten free from the trap.

"Not to mention we made it out of the snow" said Sherman.

"Sherman get up!" Peabody pulled Sherman out of the snow.

"Now we're free to follow Bullwinkle," said Rocky "But how?"

"Uncle Rocky! Mr. Peabody!" said Sherman "Look over there! On that tree!"

Peabody, Sherman and Rocky ran over to the tree Sherman was pointing at and saw some sort of mark on its bark.

"My stars," said Mr. Peabody "That is a pretty big mark Sherman. Only one problem,"

"What Mr. Peabody?" asked Sherman.

"How does this lead to Bullwinkle?" asked Peabody.

"My guess is that his antlers must've left this mark" said Rocky.

"And look!" said Sherman "There are more marks on these trees!"

"Then we must follow them!" said Mr. Peabody.

And our three heroes had gone from tree to tree until they reached the end of the trail.

"Looking for something strangers?" asked a woodcutter.

"You made those marks on the trees?" asked Rocky.

"I cannot tell a lie" said the woodcutter "I did it."

"Thanks a lot Sherman!" Peabody said sarcastically to his boy "You had us a follow a trail to a woodcutter."

"I'm sorry Mr. Peabody" Sherman said shamefully.

"Yes you should be" Peabody made a snooty look.

"What's your name anyways?" Rocky asked the woodcutter.

"Washington" said the woodcutter.

"Does that mean your first name is George?" asked Rocky.

"No," the woodcutter took off her hat to reveal long fluffy hair "It's Martha."

"Well, I'll be" said Mr. Peabody.

"Sorry to have troubled you madame" said Rocky "But we were looking for a moose."

"I saw a moose go in there" Martha pointed to the cabin that Bullwinkle was thrown into.

Fearlessly, Rocky, Mr. Peabody and Sherman zoomed right into the cabin but they found it empty.

"Where could he be?" Rocky asked the others.

Good question, for at that very moment, Bullwinkle was walking in a trance with Fearless Leader and Boris Badenov right behind him.

"Derby" he chanted "Must find a derby"

"This plan is working well Fearless Leader" said Boris.

"And there it is!" Bullwinkle pointed to something he found.

"It is?" Fearless Leader asked.

"Right now?" asked Boris.

* * *

 **AND NOW FOR SOMETHING WE HOPE YOU'LL REALLY LIKE!**

 **THE ROCKY, BULLWINKLE AND MR. PEABODY FANCLUB!**

 **Rocky:** Welcome to another meeting of the Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody Fan Club!

 **Bullwinkle** : Today we have a very special announcement! Take it away Mr. Peabody!

 **Mr. Peabody** : Thank you Bullwinkle, my dear moose. Greetings everyone, Peabody here. I am here with a very important announcement! After this story, the author will be writing a trilogy of prequel stories starring me, Rocky and Bullwinkle.

 **Rocky** : These stories tell us about how Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and I met.

 **Bullwinkle** : Find out how we crossed paths, our adventures and how we found our way to Frostbite Falls.

 **Rocky** : These adventures include us baby to his tribe, helping a beautiful princess save her kingdom and inventing a brand new rocket fuel.

 **Mr. Peabody** : We will go way back! And I mean WAY BACK! Back to the beginning, back to before we even met Sherman.

 **Rocky** : Get ready to go back to the beginning.

 **Bullwinkle** : It's me, Rocky and Mr. Peabody's very first adventures together like you've never seen them before.

 **Mr. Peabody** : And of course, he means that literally.

 **Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody** : Be there at the beginning.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Has Bullwinkle really ended his quest? Find out in our next chapter, "Under Bullwinkle's Bowler" or "Wide Open Spaces"!**


	16. Chapter 16

Well last time it looked like the search for the Kirwood Derby had finally ended, for in one of his fiendish plans, Boris hypnotized Bullwinkle into leading him to the fabulous bowler.

"You must look for a derby," he said "A derby."

"Must find a derby!" Bullwinkle walked over Boris.

And in just a little while Bullwinkle shouted...

"There's the derby!" he shouted.

"See Fearless Leader?" asked Boris "When I make a fiendish plan, I mean fiendish plan"

"But look at what derby he's pointing at!" said Fearless Leader.

Turned out he was pointing to a roller derby.

"Oops," said Boris "Wrong derby, moose."

And the hypnotized Bullwinkle tried his best. After a long hike, he pointed out the Kentucky Derby and then later, he pointed out the Brown Derby. But when the trio returned to Peaceful Valley, Bullwinkle still hadn't found the Kirwood Derby.

"And what's more look up there!" Fearless Leader pointed to the sky.

Yes high above them, Rocky was flying searching for Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody and Sherman were flying along on Mr. Peabody's rocket board (good thing Mr. Peabody brought his infinite storage cube with him).

"Bullwinkle!" Rocky shouted.

"Bullwinkle my boy!" Peabody shouted.

"Uncle Bullwinkle!" Sherman shouted "Where are you?"

"Here boy!" Peabody shouted.

"Huh?" Bullwinkle started to get out of his trance "What's going on? Did someone call my name?"

"Quick!" Fearless Leader told Boris "He's waking up!"

"Listen moose" Boris told Bullwinkle "When you wake up, you will look for the Kirkwood Derby! The Kirkwood Derby! Understand?"

"Not really," said Bullwinkle "But I'll do it anyways."

"Good" said Fearless Leader "Now come on Badenov! Let's go before that pesky squirrel, nerdy dog and little brat land!"

Boris and Fearless Leader zoomed away right before Rocky, Peabody and Sherman landed right in front of Bullwinkle.

"Bullwinkle!" said Rocky "Bullwinkle! You're okay!"

"We were so worried." said Sherman.

"I am?" asked Bullwinkle.

"Don't you recognize us?" asked Peabody.

"I don't even recognize myself." said Bullwinkle.

"It's us!" said Rocky "Your buddies! Rocky and Mr. Peabody!"

"We've been pals forever." said Peabody.

"And I'm your nephew" said Sherman.

"Oh really?" asked Bullwinkle "What've you done for me recently?"

"Oh snap out of it you!" Peabody barked.

Mr. Peabody stood on his hind legs and slapped Bullwinkle upside the head and soon enough, Bullwinkle was out of his trance.

"Rocky! Mr. Peabody! Sherman!" Bullwinkle exclaimed "It's you guys!"

"What was wrong with Uncle Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody?" Sherman asked his master.

"It's quite simple my dear boy," Peabody told him "He was probably in a trance."

"A trance?" asked Bullwinkle.

"What do you mean Mr. Peabody?" asked Rocky.

"He was probably hypnotized." Peabody explained. "That's the same daze the Peterson's were put in when we invited them for dinner."

"Something funny is going on in Peaceful Valley, Bullwinkle" said Rocky.

"I'm not laughing" Bullwinkle joked.

"What do you think?" Rocky asked the moose.

"I think I have to go get a derby." said Bullwinkle.

"Why?" asked Rocky.

"I don't know," Bullwinkle shrugged "I just do."

Fearless Leader and Boris were secretly eavesdropping on our heroes from behind a tree.

"See Fearless Leader?" Boris told his boss "You can always count on Hot Shot Badenov."

At that same time, our heroes were still talking.

"This is no time to buy a stupid hat Bullwinkle" said Peabody.

"I cant help it Mr. Peabody" said Bullwinkle "I got to find me a derby."

And Bullwinkle, still under Boris' spell, began the hunt for a hat and the place he first turned to was a local hat store in town. At that same time, Fearless Leader and Boris were eavesdropping.

Fearless Leader glared at Boris "So that's where we find the Kirkwood Derby, eh Badneov?"

Boris tried to talk "But I-"

"Dozens of our secret agents have been searching the globe for that derby!" Fearless Leader barked "What chance do you think that stupid moose has of finding it in a hat shop?"

Boris answered "Uhhh..."

"NO CHANCE AT ALL!" Fearless Leader snapped.

"Fearless Leader?" Boris asked.

"What?!" Fearless Leader shouted.

"Give us a little smile" Boris took his hat off.

Fearless Leader hit Boris right on the head.

"Oh forget it." Boris sighed.

"You I think we shorten your name Badenov, from 'Hot Shot' to just 'Shot'!" Fearless Leader pointed a gun at Boris.

He zipped right off. Meanwhile inside the store, Bullwinkle was trying hat after hat. None of them fit very well.

"I cant understand it, sir" said the store clerk. "I've tried every size derby we have."

"What size do you usually take, Uncle Bullwinkle?" Sherman asked Bullwinkle.

"Regular moose size, Sherman" said Bullwinkle.

"What's that?" asked Sherman.

"Seven and five seconds." Bullwinkle explained.

"That's ridiculous." said the clerk "No one carries that size."

"So no derby, huh?" asked Bullwinkle.

"Well there is one derby that has been with us for years" said the clerk "Maybe it fits him."

And the clerk climbed up a ladder and took off a dusty hat box covered in cobwebs.

"Does it have the size marked on it?" asked Rocky.

Bullwinkle took the box "Let's see for ourselves."

Bullwinkle blew off the webs and the dust from the box.

"So, what's the size?" asked Peabody.

"All I got is the name." said Bullwinkle.

"What is it?" asked Rocky.

Bullwinkle read the label "It says 'THE KIRWOOD DERBY'."

"Kirkwood Derby?" asked Sherman.

"Kirkwood Derby?" asked Rocky.

"Kirkwood Derby?" asked Peabody.

"Kirkwood Derby?" asked the clerk.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Don't miss the next chapter if you can or can't or can. Well whatever, it's called "Million Dollar Carton" or "Jack in the Box!"**


	17. Chapter 17

Well there it is, the fabulous Kirwood Derby, who's wearer becomes the smartest being in the world, and who's about to buy it? None other than Bullwinkle J. Moose and who's happier than Boris Badenov.

"Don't shoot Fearless Leader!" Boris begged "Moose has found the Kirwood Derby for us."

"You lucked out again Badenov" Fearless Leader sinisterly smiled.

"Next," said Boris "We get the hat from him and we rule the world!"

"WE?" Fearless Leader growled.

"I mean, you!" Boris blushed.

Meanwhile inside the hat shop, Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman were purchasing the hat.

"Are you sure that's the right size Bullwinkle?" asked Rocky.

"Let me check," the manager took the hat off Bullwinkle's head "Seven and three quarters."

"That's it!" said Bullwinkle "I'll take it!"

"One moment sir," said the manager "That'll be eight dollars."

"Eight dollars?!" exclaimed everyone.

"We don't have eight dollars." said Sherman "We don't even have any money."

"Then I'm sorry," the clerk put the hat back on the shelf "This hat goes back on the shelf."

At that same time, Fearless Leader was walking through the binoculars.

"Badenov!" said Fearless Leader "We must get that hat!"

"Don't worry Fearless Leader," Boris proclaimed "I will handle this."

While Boris was in a phone booth changing into a disguise, Rocky, Bullwinkle, Peabody and Sherman were walking right out of the store and back onto the snowy sidewalk.

"That's a shame" said Bullwinkle "I really wanted that derby."

"Too bad" Peabody kept walking.

Just then, Boris jumped out of the corner wearing his disguise.

"Hello, hello, hello!" he cheered "Are your ready for your question on our 'Moose on the Street' quiz?"

"Who the heck are you?" Rocky demanded.

"Allow me to introduce myself," Boris took out a card "My name is Art LookLater, radio quizmaster. Now for eight dollars cash, answer this one question."

"Lay it on me!" said Bullwinkle.

"Who is buried in Green's Tomb?" asked Boris.

"Gee," Bullwinkle trailed off "I was reading about that just the other day. Do you know Mr. Peabody?"

"Of course I do," Peabody gave a snooty look "Unfortunately, I cannot tell you that."

"Yeah," said Rocky "That'd be cheating."

"Okay," said Boris "Here's another question. Do you know quantum mathematics?"

"No." answered Bullwinkle.

"Congrats!" Boris put eight dollars in Bullwinkle's hand "Here's your money!"

"Thanks" said Sherman.

Boris ran away from the scene and made his way back to the telephone booth to take off his disguise. So clutching the eight dollars in his glove, Bullwinkle went back into the store and walked out with a hat box, which unbeknownst to them, contained the Kirwood Derby.

Bullwinkle removed the hat from the box and put the hat on.

"Golly," said Sherman "It fits like a glove."

"Yeah" said Bullwinkle "And the square of the hypothenuse of a right angle triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of the two sides."

Rocky, Sherman and Mr. Peabody's mouths both dropped.

"What did Bullwinkle just say?" asked Rocky.

"I believe he just spoke math," said Mr. Peabody.

"That's pretty fantastic." said Sherman.

"Yes," said Bullwinkle "And the sun, the star centering our solar system is over 92. 96 million miles from the Earth, the third planet from the sun."

"Bullwinkle what're you saying?" asked Rocky.

"I don't know," said Bullwinkle "But tout d'un coup je me sens une certaine façon , je ne l'ai jamais ressenti avant."

"Bullwinkle!" said Rocky "You're speaking French!"

"One of my eight fluent languages." said Mr. Peabody.

"Qui." said Bullwinkle.

"But you don't know French, Uncle Bullwinkle" said Sherman.

"Je sais bien?" Bullwinkle shrugged.

It was then, Rocky, Peabody and Sherman saw smoke spewing from underneath the bowler and Rocky, Peabody and Sherman took off the hat and dunked Bullwinkle's head into a pile of snow, which melted instantly and doused Bullwinkle's head.

"What happened Fearless Leader?" asked Boris.

"Is quite simple," said Fearless Leader "Moose is not used to thinking. His brain overheated."

"Do we take the hat now?" asked Boris.

"As we say in Pottsylvania, why not?" Fearless Leader said.

"But what if they snitch on us to the police?" asked Boris.

"Dead men tell no tales." said Fearless Leader.

"What about dead mooses?" asked Boris.

"Them too." said Fearless Leader.

"Hot diggety!" Boris danced "I get to steal derby and kill moose, squirrel and dog!"

"Badenov!" said Fearless Leader "Be my guest."

And without hesitation, Boris whipped out a large battle axe and started creeping up towards our heroes. Meanwhile, Rocky, Mr. Peabody and Sherman were pulling Bullwinkle out of the snow.

"There," said Rocky "You have stopped smoldering."

You have to admit, I was pretty hot stuff there" Bullwinkle joked.

"I don't get it" said Sherman "What happened?"

"I don't know" Bullwinkle put the hat back on "I just put this hat on and- I just figured out there's a fiendish plot against us Rocky and he's hiding right behind us."

Yes, Bullwinkle was smart enough, but was he soon enough? For at that moment, Boris was inside a bush, ready to ambush our heroes.

* * *

 **AND NOW FOR SOMETHING WE HOPE YOU'LL REALLY LIKE!**

 **BULLWINKLE'S POETRY CORNER**

 **Bulllwinkle** : Good day culture lovers. Today, we take a look at the modern day poet from Michigan named Marshall Mathers III, better known as, Eminem.

 **Rocky** : [hands Bullwinkle a book] Here you go Bullwinkle.

 **Mr. Peabody** : It had better not be "Superman" again.

 **Bullwinkle** : [tosses the book away] Okay then. Then, I shall recite a poem from the classic poet named Ross Bagsidarian.

 **Rocky** : What poem are you gonna recite?

 **Mr. Peabody** : I'm pretty sure he wasn't a poet.

 **Bullwinkle** : Here is one ballad entitled "The Witch Doctor"

 **Rocky** : Okay Bullwinkle, then get the move on.

 **Bullwinkle** : [clears throat] Me, me, me, me, meeeee, sexy. Okay.

 **Rocky and Mr. Peabody** : And here is Bullwinkle J. Moose with a poem called "The Witch Doctor"

 **Bullwinkle** : I told the witch doctor I was in love with you. I told the witch doctor I was in love with you. And then the witch doctor he told me what do, he said to-

 **Rocky** : Ooh.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Eee.

 **Rocky** : Ooh.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Aah aah.

 **Rocky** : Ting tang.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Wala wala.

 **Rocky** : Bing bang.

 **Bullwinkle** : Ooh.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Eee.

 **Rocky** : Ooh.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Aah aah.

 **Rocky** : Ting tang.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Wala wala.

 **Rocky** : Bing bang.

 **Bullwinkle** : Ooh.

 **Rocky** : Eee.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Ooh aah aah.

 **Bullwinkle** : Ting tang.

 **Rocky** : Wala, wala bing bang.

 **Bullwinkle** : Second verse, same as the first. I told the witch doctor you didn't love me true. I told the witch doctor you didn't love me nice. And then the witch doctor he gave me his advice he said to-

 **Rocky** : Ooh.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Eee.

 **Bullwinkle** : Ooh aah aah.

 **Rocky** : Ting tang.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Wala wala bing bang.

 **Rocky** : Ooh, eee.

 **Bullwinkle** : Ooh aah aah.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Ting tang.

 **Rocky** : Wala wala.

 **Bullwinkle** : Bing bang. Verse three!

 **Rocky** : Sorry, we're out of time.

 **Bullwinkle** : Out of time?

 **Mr. Peabody** : And I was actually enjoying this.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Stay tuned for our next chapter, "Four at one Blow" or "The Devil Be Header"**


	18. Chapter 18

Last time you remember, our heroes had gotten ahold of the Kirwood Derby, which just so happened to be the right size for Bullwinkle.

"Seven and five thirty seconds" Bullwinkle told the narrator.

And sure enough when Bullwinkle put it on, he became a brilliant thinker and extremely intelligent. Unfortunately, his brain wasn't used to it and started to overheat, so Rocky, Mr. Peabody and Sherman put Bullwinkle's head into a pile of snow.

"Bullwinkle sure was hot-stuff" Peabody fixed his scarf.

What our heroes didn't know was that they were pawns in a fiendish game played by Boris and his fearless leader.

"A game called, Rule the World" Fearless Leader said to the readers.

"Any number of people can play" Boris added.

So Boris tried to sneak up behind our friends carrying a battle axe...

"We call it a Pottsylvanian Equalizer" Boris told the narrator.

But just as he was about to kill our heroes, Bullwinkle put the derby on and...

"The laws of probability indicate that we're pawns in a fiendish plot" he explained "And that somebody's behind that bush right now."

Boris swung alright, but Bullwinkle's lightning brain caused him to make a complex algorithm and judge accurately how fast and far he should duck, causing Boris to cut a tree instead which fell right on Fearless Leader.

The horrified Boris ran to the tree, terrified.

"Fearless Leader!" he picked up the tree "What have I done?"

"First, you have ruined everything again and two, you have shortened your lifespan by so many years!" Fearless Leader pointed his gun at Boris.

"No, no, wait Fearless Leader!" Boris begged "I'll get the derby, double cross my heart."

"Very well Badenov," said Fearless Leader "You are spared."

"Because you are so kind and generous?" asked Boris.

"No," said Fearless Leader "Because my gun is out of bullets."

And so, Boris dropped the tree back on Fearless Leader and went after our heroes once again. At that same time, Rocky, Bullwinkle, Peabody and Sherman were walking.

"Gee Bullwinkle," said Rocky "How come you're so smart all of a sudden?"

"I just figured it out, Rocket old chap." said Bullwinkle "This here is the legendary Kirwood Derby I am wearing. It gives the wearer a huge amount of super intelligence."

"Golly," said Sherman "That's pretty fantastic."

"Yeah," Rocky added "You must be the smartest moose on the planet."

"I'd even say you're smarter than Mr. Peabody" Sherman remarked.

"Sherman!" Peabody gasped "How dare you? No one is smarter than me!"

"Then why don't we test it out?" suggested Rocky "Mr. Peabody, you've been pondering Einstein's chaos theory for a while now. Why don't I have Bullwinkle explain so I can prove how smart he really is?"

"Very well," said Peabody "It is worth a shot."

But at that moment, a strong gust of wind blew away from Bullwinkle's head.

"Well good ahead Bullwinkle," said Peabody.

"What?" asked Bullwinkle.

"Explain Einstein's chaos theory to us." Peabody said.

"Sure," said Bullwinkle "But who is Einstein?"

Rocky, Peabody and Sherman looked at Bullwinkle's head and they saw something missing.

"Hokey smoke!" said Rocky "Bullwinkle, your hat is gone."

And our heroes dashed after the disappearing derby.

"There it is everyone!" Sherman pointed to something on the ground.

Sure enough a derby was right in the path, but when Bullwinkle put it on, it was too small.

"Must've shrunk" said Bullwinkle.

Oh little did Bullwinkle know that he put on a fake derby and underneath it, a tiny but powerful bomb was ticking right at the moment. Oh who could have done such a- oh never mind. I'm not gonna say it.

"You got to!" Boris popped out of a bush "It's in the script."

Oh fine. Yes, the villain had switched hats with Bullwinkle and now had in his hands, the legendary Kirwood Derby.

"Yes!" said Boris "And when I put it on, I will rule the world!"

"Who Badenov?" Fearless Leader pointed his gun at Boris.

"You, Fearless Leader!" Boris handed Fearless Leader the hat "So you got more bullets, huh?"

"Yes!" Fearless Leader pointed his gun at Boris.

"That's what I thought" Boris gulped.

Yes things looked really bleak for Boris until a familiar female figure wearing a winter coat with fur edges and a pair of gray boots crept out of the snowy bushes on hands and knees behind Fearless Leader.

"Welcome Natasha, baby doll!" said Boris.

"Nice try Badenov!" said Fearless Leader "But you don't fool me!"

That was great for Boris because he pushed Fearless Leader over the kneeling Natasha and leaped on top of him, scratching and beating him.

"Oh Boris!" Natasha cheered "You are so strong and brave!"

"When it is two against one, I'm amazing" Boris kept beating Fearless Leader.

* * *

 **AND NOW FOR SOMETHING WE HOPE YOU'LL REALLY LIKE!**

 **BULLWINKLE'S POETRY CORNER**

 **Bullwinkle** : Hi ho culture fans. Today we shall take a look at the poems of the poet named "Gloria Gaynor"

 **Rocky** : [hands Bullwinkle a book] Here you go Bullwinkle.

 **Bullwinkle** : Why thank you Rocky old friend.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Dare I ask, what poem will we be reciting today?

 **Bullwinkle** : [searches through the pages] Aha! Here's one entitled, I Will Survive! Mr. Peabody, will you do the honors.

 **Mr. Peabody** : [sighs] If I must. [clears his throat] Me, me, me, me, meeeeee! Sexy!

 **Rocky** : Go on Mr. Peabody!

 **Bullwinkle** : Recite that poem for us!

 **Mr. Peabody** : Well at first...I was afraid. I was petrified...I kept thinking that I could never live without anyone by my side and I spent oh so many nights thinking...how he did me wrong, and...and I grew strong! And I learned how to get along! And so I'm back...from outer space! I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face!

 **Bullwinkle** : He should've changed that stupid lock!

 **Rocky** : He should've made you leave those keys!

 **Mr. Peabody** : If I had known for just one second, you'd be back to bother me! Oh now go! Walk out the door! Just turn around now...it is I who have the floor! Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? Did I crumble?

 **Rocky** : Oh no!

 **Mr. Peabody** : Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no I! Well, I will survive, as long as I know how to hate, I know I'll stay alive. I've got all my life to live.

 **Bullwinkle** : And I've got all my love to give!

 **Mr. Peabody** : And I will survive!

 **Bullwinkle** : You will survive!

 **Mr. Peabody** : I will survive!

 **Rocky** : He will surviiiivvvvveee!

 **Mr. Peabody** : I'm a survivor, I've got the eye of a tiger, I've been training again and eating my fiber. You've been staying alive while I be staying alive-er. Watch where you sit when I spit my saliva like boom! You've never seen a talking dog! Rockin'n shockin' and droppin' and pop'n and lookin' too? Watch what I can do without no autotune!

 **Rocky and Bullwinkle** : Say what?

 **Mr. Peabody** : Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, aah, aah, aah, aah.

 **Bullwinkle** : Oh no he didn't!

 **Mr. Peabody** : If you try to keep me down I'll just come back stronger! You try to cut me short I'll just come back longer. If you beat me at ping pong I'll just play ping pong-er. Give me my throne, I am ready to thrive, one thing i know...I will survive! I...will sur...viiiiiive!

 **Bullwinkle** : Nice pipes Mr. Peabody, if I do say so myself. Well that is all for today! Thanks for coming to my Poetry Corner.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Gee wilikers! Looks like Fearless Leader and Boris are both fighting over the Kirkwood Derby now! Oh who will win?**

 **Boris and Fearless Leader:** What does it matter anyways? We are both bad guys.

 **Oh yeah, I see your point. Well you'd better be with us next chapter for, "Flower in the Hat" or "The Rose Bowler"**


	19. Chapter 19

Well last time you remember, Boris Badenov had got hold of the Kirwood Derby, who's wearer becomes extremely intelligent.

"At last," said Boris "The world is mine."

But there was one other person in desire for the Kirkwood Derby, it was none other than Fearless Leader. He had the drop on Boris until Natasha crept behind him and BAM!

But as the two villains started beating each other, the derby fell off and unbeknownst to them, it rolled down to a hill where our heroes were they were trying to get results from a fake derby.

"You sure you don't feel smart, Bullwinkle?" Rocky asked Bullwinkle.

"Not really" said Bullwinkle. "Try asking me something."

"How many states are in the US?" asked Peabody.

"No I mean something easy" said Bullwinkle.

"I got it!" said Rocky "Try spelling Mississippi!"

"Okay" said Bullwinkle "M-I-SS-ISS-ISS-ISS- thats a long river."

"Something's wrong with your magic hat" said Sherman.

If only Rocky, Peabody and Sherman knew that the hat was really containing a powerful pipe bomb inside.

"Doesn't the hat say anything to you at all?" Rocky asked.

"Just 'tick tick'." said Bullwinkle.

"Well thats no help" said Peabody.

"Tell me about it" Bullwinkle remarked.

But at that moment, the real Kirwood Derby rolled towards them and in a twinkling, Mr. Peabody caught up with the hat and brought it back to Bullwinkle.

"Here you go my dear boy" Peabody put the hat on Bullwinkle's hat.

"Okay Mr. P" said Bullwinkle "Try me now."

"Okay, whats the longest word in the English language?" Mr. Peabody asked.

"Antidisestablishmenterianism." said Bullwinkle. "On the other hand, the longest word in the Latin language is, Onerificabilitudenotatabous."

"Golly" said Sherman "That's pretty fantastic."

Just then, Bullwinkle's head started to smoke again.

"You'd better take that hat off, Bullwinkle" said Rocky.

"Why?" asked Bullwinkle.

"You're head is smoking again" Sherman took the hat off Bullwinkle's head and after fanning it, he put it back on.

"It cant be!" Peabody gasped "You...are...smarter...than...me."

Peabody stuck his tongue out and started brushing it with the mittens on his front paws.

"I never thought I'd see the day" Sherman smiled "Someone who's smarter than Mr. Peabody."

"Dont remind me" Peabody continued brushing his tongue.

"I guess we don't need this anymore." Rocky showed them the fake derby.

And Rocky tossed away the bomb filled hat and by chance, it ended up near the feet of Natasha Fatale. At that same time, Boris and Fearless Leader were still strangling each other.

"I wear the derby!" Fearless Leader strangled Boris.

"No I wear the derby!" Boris strangled Fearless Leader.

"Natasha are you a loyal Pottsylvanian?" Fearless Leader asked Natasha.

"Of course I am" said Natasha.

"Then your duty is clear!" Fearless Leader barked.

"Naturally, dollink" said Natasha.

And Natasha picked up a nearby tree branch and knocked Fearless Leader out cold.

"You did it honey bun!" Boris told Natasha "But I thought you were loyal Pottsylvanian."

"Of course, Boris" said Natasha "And first rule of Pottsylvanian is..."

"Always double cross everyone you see" Boris and Natasha said at the same time.

"And now for my moment of triumph." Boris took off his hat and replaced it with the fake derby "I put on derby and become smartest person in the world."

"Well dollink?" Natasha looked at Boris.

"I am waiting for something to happen" Boris answered.

And something did happen...the fake derby exploded.

"Boris!" Natasha gasped "It exploded!"

"You know," Boris put his hat back on "I've been considering starting some big things."

"What kind of big things?" Natasha asked Boris.

"I could start a World War III." said Boris.

"And it looks like you're getting started already" Natasha pointed to something.

"What do you mean?" Boris turned around.

Sure enough, it seemed Fearless Leader had finally woken up from being knocked out cold.

"Well Badenov I'm glad to figure out what a fink you are!" said Fearless Leader.

"You are going to kill me after I saved your life?" Boris put his hands up.

"Is this a trick Badenov?" Fearless Leader pointed his gun.

"No really," said Boris "Look at derby! It was really a bomb."

Boris pointed to what was left of the fake derby.

"So that is why you wanted to put it on first?" Fearless Leader glared at Boris.

"Of course old boss man, dear lovely pumpkin doll, I'd never let anything happen to you" Boris kissed Fearless Leader's boots.

"Get off my boots Badenov!" Fearless Leader kicked Boris off. "Are you really loyal?"

"If not, may lightning strike me this minute" Boris proclaimed.

Just then, lightning struck the ground between Boris and Fearless Leader.

"See?" said Boris "It missed me."

"Very well, Badenov" said Fearless Leader "I give you one more chance to get the Kirwood Derby!"

"One chance is all I need Fearless Leader" said Boris. "I got new plan."

"What is it dollink?" Natasha asked Boris.

"I cant tell you" said Boris.

"Why?" asked Natasha "Is it too evil for words?"

"No," said Boris "Because chapter is over."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Yes, it is indeed over! Be with us next time, for "A Snitch in Time" or "The Finking Man's Filter"**


	20. Chapter 20

Well with the dumb luck of a winter breeze smiled once again on our heroes as it practically threw the Kirwood Derby in the hands of our heroes, so Bullwinkle is a genius once again. The smartest moose in the world. Possibly even smarter than Mr. Peabody!

"Please," Peabody started shaking "Don't even talk about it."

"I could even be the smartest moose in the USA, that's bigger" said Bullwinkle.

That is when he puts on the hat.

Bullwinkle put the hat on "The energy factors in the electromagnetic quantum are proportionate to the wavelength of radiation."

But there's one problem to wearing the hat...

"My brain keeps overheating." Bullwinkle finished.

In the meantime, Boris and Natasha had been given one more chance to get the bowler back.

"You see this box, Badenov?" Fearless Leader showed Boris a box.

"Yes Fearless Leader." said Boris.

"At noon, I send it back to Pottsylvania with Kirwood Derby inside." Fearless Leader explained.

"Suppose I don't get derby?" Boris asked his boss.

"Then I send it back with you inside!" Fearless Leader poked Boris' nose.

"But I won't breathe in there." Boris said.

"Believe me," said Fearless Leader "That won't be the least of your problems!"

Boris gulped "You mean?"

"Yes!" said Fearless Leader "You won't be breathing."

Boris and Natasha walked in the snowy forest to discuss their plan to get rid of Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody.

"Boris, he's not kidding" Natasha told her partner.

"You're kidding, he's not kidding" Boris said "Come! We must get the derby back!"

And the two felons went off to their last attempt to get the derby back from our heroes, who were still pondering on what to do with the hat.

"Mr. Peabody, Sherman, Bullwinkle there's only one place that hat belongs!" Rocky proclaimed.

"On a hat rack!" Bullwinkle exclaimed.

"In an incinerator, if you ask me" Peabody said bitterly.

"No!" said Rocky "We have to get that hat to Washington."

"He never wears a hat" said Bullwinkle.

"Bullwinkle" said Rocky.

"Usually he wears a wig" Bullwinkle continued.

"Bullwinkle," Rocky tried to talk.

"Besides, he's not with us anymore." Bullwinkle kept talking.

"BULLWINKLE!" Rocky shouted.

"He's dead." Bullwinkle said.

"Uncle Rocky doesn't mean George Washington, he means Washington, DC!" Sherman told Bullwinkle.

"The place I went in the last story" Bullwinkle proclaimed.

"That derby should be worn by the heads of government" said Rocky.

"Actually, that's not a bad idea" said Mr. Peabody "I used to work for the government you know, so doing research projects for them would pay off."

"But how are we gonna get there?" Sherman asked "We spent all our money on getting here and buying the hat."

"Good point, Sherman" Rocky told Sherman "We need to find a way to get a free ride to Washington."

"You got any ideas Mr. Peabody?" Sherman asked Mr. Peabody.

"I don't know" Peabody said sarcastically "Why don't we ask Bullwinkle since he's so smart!"

"That's a great idea Mr. Peabody" Rocky put the hat on Bullwinkle's head.

Bullwinkle snapped his fingers "Well the obvious way to get to Washington for free is to run for office."

"Bullwinkle!" Rocky exclaimed "That's it!"

"What's it?" Bullwinkle asked.

"We're gonna run as canidates" Rocky said.

"All the way to Washington?" Bullwinkle asked.

"No" Rocky ran back to town "I'll show you!"

Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody's campaign rally began in Peaceful Valley. First, they rallied up the Hatful clan.

"...and if I'm elected, I'll get rid of all the Floys in the county!" Rocky finished his speech.

"YAY!" everyone cheered.

Next, they held a rally for the Floy clan.

"...and if I'm elected, I'll get rid of all the Hatfuls in the county!" Rocky finished his speech.

"YAY!" the Floys cheered.

"Boy, it'll be quiet after the election" Bullwinkle remarked.

As a result, before the day was over, Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody had been elected as represenitives of Peaceful Valley, Missouri and were on their way to PeaceFul Valley, Missouri with Sherman in tow on a train to Washington.

"Traveling first class too" Rocky told the narrator.

"Yes!" said Bullwinkle "First class frit!"

"At least we're getting a free trip to DC." Peabody said.

At that same time, Boris and Natasha were looking through binoculars as the train our heroes were on was passing.

"Boris!" said Natasha "They are getting away!"

"Of course," Boris looked at Natasha "But the derby won't!"

Yes, at that moment...

"How long is it before we get to Washington, Uncle Bullwinkle?" Sherman asked his uncle.

"Just let me put on my hat" Bullwinkle put his hat.

Meanwhile, Boris prepared to throw some strange weapon.

"Is a boomerang Natasha!" Boris showed the weapon.

"You can throw a boomerang, dollink?" Natasha asked Boris.

"In a perfect circle, Natasha!" Boris threw the boomerang at Bullwinkle.

And just as Bullwinkle was about to answer Sherman's question "We'll arrive in Washington i-"

The boomerang swung and lifted the derby from his head, which Peabody saw.

"Go ahead Bullwinkle" Peabody smugly looked at the moose.

"Go ahead and do what?" Bullwinkle asked.

"When do we get to Washington?" Peabody chuckled.

"Why are you asking me?" Bullwinkle asked.

Rocky answered "Cause you're wearing the Kirwood Derby an-"

Rocky and Sherman turned around and saw that the hat was gone.

"Hokey smoke!" Rocky exclaimed "It's gone!"

"Stop the train!" Sherman shouted to the train conductor.

At that same time, Boris and Natasha were waiting for the boomerang to come back to them.

"Here it comes Boris!" Natasha pointed to the boomerang "Oh Boris, you are such a rotten crook!"

"Aw shucks" Boris blushed "You're just saying that cause it's true."

"Where did you learn to throw boomerang?" Natasha asked him.

"I used to live in Australia where I spent two years living with the kangaroos." said Boris.

"You were a zoologist?" Natasha asked him.

"No I was a pickpocket" said Boris "I would steal from the kangaroo's pouches."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Well, it looks like our villains have finally won! Stay tuned for our next exciting chapter, "Boomerang Bowler" or "Boris Makes a Comeback"**


	21. Chapter 21

Well the Kirwood Derby has been an on and off again proposistion. The latest on was when Sherman said...

"Put it on, Uncle Bullwinkle" Sherman put the hat on Bullwinkle's head "When exactly do we arrive in Washington?"

"Easy" Bullwinkle said "Well figure the circumfrance of the standard reel disk times the rate of speed, computed the sigmutised the inverse square of the complex algorithm of the cosign intention."

"Sure we will" said Rocky.

"What did he just say Mr. Peabody?" Sherman whispered to his master.

And the latest "off" was when Boris tossed a boomerang, which removed the hat from Bullwinkle's hat and began to return it to the villains.

"Boris!" Natasha pointed to the boomerang "The boomerang is coming back!"

"Of course" Boris smugly said "When I throw boomerang, it always goes in perfect circle."

"Be careful, dollink" said Natasha "Nobody's perfect."

Meanwhile, back on the train...

"Go ahead Bullwinkle" Peabody chuckled as he saw the hat fly away. "Go ahead and tell us when we'll get to Washington."

Just then, Rocky and Sherman saw that the hat was missing.

"Bullwinkle!" Rocky exclaimed "Your hat is gone again! STOP THE TRAIN!"

Boris and Natasha were still waiting for the boomerang to come back to them with the hat.

"Well here it comes Natasha," Boris reached up to the sky "Now all I have to do is-"

Unfortunetly, the boomerang was a little too high for Boris reach and as a result, it swung back around him in a wide arc and neatly placed the hat back onto Bullwinkle's head.

"...We'll arrive at Washington, DC at precisely 7:30 pm tonight." Bullwinkle said as the hat came back onto him.

"Uncle Bullwinkle! You're hat is back!" Sherman pointed out.

"Rats!" Peabody stomped his foot.

"But the steam is coming out of your ears" Rocky pointed to Bullwinkle's steaming ears "You'd better take it off."

Meanwhile, Boris and Natasha were having a little adult conversation.

"Well Boris you were right" said Natasha "Boomerang goes in perfect circle. Frist to them..."

"Then to us..." Boris continued.

"Then to them..." Natasha continued.

"Then to- Hey!" Boris turned around "I just figured out! It should come back to us again."

And the boomerang hit Boris on the head and he fainted.

"Oh Boris!" Natasha looked down at Boris "You were right again."

"Oh shut up" Boris got dizzy.

Well just as Bullwinkle predicted, their freight train arrived at Washington at exactly, 7:30 pm and our boys dashed into town to deliver the Kirwood Derby to a responsible agency. But by the time they got there, it was 7:42 pm.

"No way!" said the guard "We're closed for the day."

"But this is important!" said Sherman.

"What we got in this box is important!" Bullwinkle showed the box that contained the Kirwood Derby.

"Will it explode before 10 am?" asked the guard.

"No" said Rocky "But-"

"Will it melt?" asked the guard.

"No" said Sherman.

"Will it go flat?" asked the guard.

"No," said Peabody "But sir-"

"Then come back tomorrow!" said the guard.

"Will somebody see us?" Rocky asked the guard.

"No, but I'll be off duty!" the guard locked the door and walked away.

"Golly, what're we gonna do?" Sherman asked the others.

"I suggest we get some rest and come back in the morning" Peabody suggested.

Our heroes were still flat broke and couldn't find anywhere to sleep for the night, so they had no choice but to sleep on the cold, snowy sidewalk.

"Well this sucks" said Peabody "I feel like a common dog out in the cold."

"Too bad it's the best thing we've got to sleep" said Rocky.

Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman used Sherman's security blanket for bed covering.

"Sherman, normally I would scold you for bringing that blanket, but today I am feeling grateful." Peabody told his boy.

"Thanks Mr. Peabody" Sherman snuggled into the blanket.

Just as Rocky, Bullwinkle, Peabody and Sherman were about to fall asleep, Boris arrived in a disguise.

"Say!" he tapped on their shoulders "I don't mean to be a burden, but aren't you Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody? And their boy, Sherman?"

"Yes" said Peabody "Who wants to know?"

"Allow me to introduce myself" Boris bowed "Hey fellow, J. Backslapper! Official DC greeter!"

"Greeter?" Bullwinkle raised an eyebrow.

"Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!" Boris started to flip several times "Welcome! Come! Come!"

"Golly," said Sherman "That's pretty fantastic."

"Yeah" said Rocky "That was a great greeting."

"And pretty impressive" Peabody added.

"Sounds like he's welcomed his wagon," Bullwinkle remarked "But haven't we met before?"

"If we did, I'd know you stranger" said Boris "I may be bad with faces, but I can never miss a pair of antlers."

"Well maybe you can help us get a place to stay Mr. Backslapper" said Rocky.

"Can I get you a place to stay?" Boris asked "Can I get you a place to stay? Can I get you a place to stay?"

"Kind of an echo don't you think?" Bullwinkle asked Peabody.

"How would you like to stay in the Little White House?" Boris asked our heroes.

"The Little White House?" Sherman asked "What's that?"

"It's where the special friends of the president stay" Boris answered.

"We're special friends of the president?" Rocky asked.

"Of course we are," Peabody said "He and I were close friends. That's why he came to our house for dinner that one time."

"Golly," said Sherman "That's pretty fantastic."

"And we did help him get re-elected in our last adventure" said Bullwinkle.

"That's swell" said Rocky "So let's go to the Little White House."

And Hey J. Fellow Backslapper (really Boris Badenov in disguise) led them to the Little White House, which was a run down and very sinister shack in a dangerous part of town.

"But it's white...sorta" Bullwinkle added.

"Are you sure this is where the president's special friends stay?" Sherman asked Boris.

"Of course" said Boris "He is inside there waiting for you four."

"That is so kind and decent of him" Bullwinkle remarked "A nice phone call would've sufficed."

For once in his life, Boris wasn't lying. The president was waiting for our heroes inside, but that was the president of the Kill Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody Fan Club, Fearless Leader himself.

* * *

 **AND NOW FOR SOMETHING WE HOPE YOU'LL REALLY LIKE!**

 **BULLWINKLE'S POETRY CORNER!**

 **Bullwinkle** : Hi ho culture lovers, Bullwinkle Moose here with another poem for all of you! Today we shall take a poem by Theodore Geisel aka, Dr. Seuss!

 **Rocky** : Uh Bullwinkle? Bad news! We don't have a Dr. Seuss book.

 **Bullwinkle** : That's okay Rocky [shows another book] I got something better!

 **Mr. Peabody** : And pray tell, what would that be?

 **Bullwinkle** : Rotten Eggs and Jam by Dr. Soot! Let's read

 **ROTTEN EGGS AND JAM**

 **Scram I Am** : I am Scram! Scram I am! I like rotten eggs and jam! I would eat them in a dump, I would eat them as I jump! I would eat them with a slurp, I would eat them and then...I'd burp [belches] I would eat them in a pigsty!

[Pigs come running all about]

 **Scram I Am** : I would eat them with this big guy!

[A big purple blobl guy in the Cat in the Hat's hat comes onto the scene]

 **Scram I Am** : Rotten eggs and jam are upon this plate!

 **Big Guy** : And I just wanted to say that being in this wonderful story has been great!

 **Scram I Am** : Yuck! Suddenly, I lost my appetite.

[Scram I Am tosses his meal away and leaves]

 **THE END**

 **Bullwinkle** :...the end.

 **Mr. Peabody** : That book was horrible. Worst thing I ever heard.

 **Rocky** : I think it was alright Bullwinkle.

 **Bullwinkle** : Thank you Rocky old buddy! Well, that is all for today!

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Get ready for our next episode, "All in Fever Say I" or "The Emotion is Carried"**


	22. Chapter 22

Last time you remember, our heroes weren't able to turn the Kirwood Derby over to a responsible government agency on accounta they arrived right after closing hours.

"But this is a national crisis!" Rocky told the guard.

"In DC, everything is a crisis" the guard remarked.

Since they were flat broke, they had to sleep on the cold, icy snowy ground and as if that wasn't enough, they were flim flammed by none other than Boris Badenov, who was cleverly disguised as an official greeter.

"Hello, hello my friends!" Boris sang "Hello! With my guitar I sing to you!"

"You don't have a guitar" Rocky pointed out.

"I don't have an entertainment liscence either" Boris shrugged.

"That's okay" said Bullwinkle "That wasn't very entertaining either."

And Boris had taken them to the Little White House which happened to neither be little or white.

"But it is a house" Boris assured them "And inside is the president of the United States waiting for you four!"

"The president is waiting for us?" Sherman asked "Golly Mr. Peabody, that's pretty fantastic!"

"That doesn't surprise me, Sherman" said Peabody "After all, we did help him win the election in our last story. Plus, I've been friends with some great presidents."

Yes it was the president! The president of the Kill Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody Club!

"Maybe we can give him the Kirwood Derby" Rocky suggested.

"I don't know if it'll fit under all that hair" said Bullwinkle.

And Rocky reached for the handle of the door just as soon as, oh I can't bear to say it! Tell me what happens!

"Okay" said a voice "I'll do it! Suddenly, a mysterious voice came from nowhere"

"Huh?" Rocky, Bullwinkle, Peabody, Sherman and Boris looked around.

"Who said that?" Boris demanded.

"And then, two pairs of eyes appeared out of nowhere" the strange voice continued "With a floating scrooch gun aimed right at you know who."

"That's me" Boris gulped.

"Mr. Peabody! Bullwinkle! Sherman!" said Rocky "Do you know who that is?"

"Mr. Backslapper?" Sherman asked.

"No!" said Rocky "It's Gidney and Cloyd! The Moon Men!"

Gidney and Cloyd turned visible and appeared right before, Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody, Sherman and Boris.

"So it is" said Mr. Peabody.

"Uncle Gidney! Uncle Cloyd!" Sherman exclaimed "No way! That's pretty fantastic."

"What brings you two here?" Bullwinkle asked them.

"We've been on your trail for days, Bullwinkle" said Gidney.

"Ever since you four left the convention" Cloyd added "And to get my scrooch gun back from you guys. I left it here when we helped you guys get back to Earth."

"The convention?" Bullwinkle raised an eyebrow "You mean the moose convention?"

"Moose convention?" the Moon Men said at the same time.

"I thought you said 'Moon Convention', Cloyd" Gidney told Cloyd.

"I thought it was moon, Gidney" Cloyd shrugged.

"Well anyways," said Gidney "We are here to get the Kirwood Derby. Please give it back to us."

"What?" Rocky exclaimed "Never!"

"No way!" Bullwinkle said.

"Heck no!" Sherman added.

"You said it!" said Boris.

"Why not?" asked Gidney.

"Cause it makes anyone who wears it the smartest person in the world" Rocky explained.

"Please" Peabody twisted his ears "Don't say stuff like that!"

"We know" Gidney pointed his gun "And thats why we need it."

"And so do we" said Rocky.

"And so do I" Boris added.

"But need it more than you guys do" said Cloyd.

"How come?" Bullwinkle demanded.

"You tell them, Gidney/Cloyd" Gidney and Cloyd told each other at the same time "No you tell them! Okay, we'll tell them at the same time! We need it to give to King Nosmo!"

And the Moon Men told them the story of their king, Nosmo the One Half. Nosmo was the only child of King Ugbert the Ugly and Queen Ethel the Unready. He was raised in the lap of lunar luxury and sent to the moon's finest schools. But at his final exam...

"Okay your highness," said his teacher "What is 2+2?"

"Uh," Nosmo trailed off "It is uh..uh...uhh...22."

"Okay," said the teacher "How do you spell 'catalog'?"

"C-A-T..." Nosmo drifted off "Uh, um, uh, um..."

"Come on son" said King Ugbert "What comes after 'cat'?"

"Duh, uh...uh...doggy!" Nosmo answered. "Doggy chase kitty! I chase kitty! Huh huh huh!"

In the castle, King Ugbert was having an adult conversation with his adviser, Linden.

"Let's face it your highness" said Linden "Nosmo's a moron."

"Nevertheless Linden" said King Egbert "He is a prince and someday, he's gonna rule the moon"

"You can't be serious!" Linden rolled his eyes "That thing is gonna rule us all?"

"Zip a dee doo dah!" Nosmo put his face in a creme pie.

"Then we must do what any king would do" said the king "Summon the wizard!"

Just then, a wizard appeared right before the king and Linden.

"What'll it be today, fellas?" asked the wizard "Card tricks? Rabbit out of a hat? Genie in a bottle?"

The wizard held up a bottle and there was a beautiful genie wearing a purple and green bra and matching panties and transparent pantaloons.

"Hello boys" the genie said in a seductive manner.

"Yes!" Linden quickly said.

"No!" the king corrected him.

"Oh well" said the wizard "Cool it Jeannie."

"I'll be waiting for you" the genie went back into her bottle.

"Okay," said the wizard "What's the problem?"

"We need something to make Nosmo smart" said the king.

"Well," said the wizard "How about we hit him with a be-"

"No!" said Linden "Not that kind of smart! We want to make him a genius!"

"I'd love to help you but I cant" said the wizard "It's the end of the chapter."

* * *

 **AND NOW FOR SOMETHING WE HOPE YOU'LL REALLY LIKE!**

 **THE ROCKY, BULLWINKLE AND MR. PEABODY FAN CLUB!**

 **Mr. Peabody** : Greetings. Peabody, Rocky and Bullwinkle here with a special treat for you.

 **Bullwinkle** : Today, we shall perform that old classic ballet known as, Swan Lake! A tale of everlasting love and romance. Composed by some Russian guy! I think his name was...Keith?

 **Mr. Peabody** : Sure, let's go with Keith.

 **Rocky** : It tells the story of the lovely Princess Odette, a young maiden cursed to turn into a swan by an evil wizard known as, Von Rothbart.

 **Mr. Peabody** : [turns to Nell] Featuring the ever beautiful, Nell Fenwick as Princess Odette.

 **Nell** : [in a white tutu] Greetings everyone.

 **Rocky** : [turns to Dudley] Dudley Do-Right as Prince Siegfried.

 **Dudley** : [tips his hat] Hello out there members of our club.

 **Bullwinkle** : [shows us Snidely] That no good rotten slime ball, Snidely Whiplash!

 **Snidely** : Why thank you!

 **Mr. Peabody** : [turns to Natasha] Natasha Fatale as Odile.

 **Natasha** : Pleasure to do this dollink. My mother would be so proud. She was Ms. Transylvania for decades.

 **Rocky** : Horse as Beno Von Sommerstein.

 **Horse** : [neighs].

 **Bullwinkle** : Inspector Fenwick as the Queen.

 **Inspector Fenwick** : I think we are going to get letters about this.

 **Rocky** : And Boris Badenov as Wolfgang.

 **Boris** : I do enjoy a good sadistic play.

 **Mr. Peabody** : So without further ado, on with our classical play!

 **Bullwinkle** : [looks at his watch] Sorry Mr. P! Time's up! We're gonna have to do our first act in the next meeting!

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Be with us next chapter for "To Moon a Moon" or "What Makes Luna Tick"**


	23. Chapter 23

Well it seems the Kirwood Derby is probably the most wanted hat in the world. First of all, Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody want it...

"We want it to help our country" Rocky said.

"Actually, I want it so I can be the smartest person in the world again" Peabody clarified.

Fearless Leader wants it.

"I want it to rule the world!" Fearless Leader said to the narrator.

Boris wants it.

"I want it to rule Fearless Leader" said Boris.

And the Moon Men, Gidney and Cloyd want it.

"We want it cause it's ours" Gidney and Cloyd said at the same time.

"Ours?" Rocky, Bullwinkle, Peabody, Sherman and Boris said at the same time.

And while our heroes listened open mouthed and Boris listened grinding his teeth and Fearless Leader listened, readying his shotgun, the Moon Men told their looney story.

"That's LUNAR story!" said Gidney.

Sorry, it was a typo. Anyways once on the moon, there was a very stupid prince named Nosmo.

"Can you touch your head with your tounge? I can." Nosmo touched his head with his tounge.

The king had to find a way to make Nosmo smart.

"Oh Linden" he said to his royal advisor "I've gotta do something."

"Why not call the wizard?" Linden suggested.

"Good idea" said the king "Oh Mr. Kirwood!"

Just then a cloud of smoke appeared and out came Kirwood the Moon Wizard.

"Sorry about that" he said "Smoke's running out. So, whaddya want?"

"Oh Moon Wizard, you must take care of my son" the king begged.

"Gee, that's a little brash" said Kirwood "I mean if I kill him, people will talk."

"No" said the king "I just want Nosmo to be a great ruler."

"Oh, why didn't you say that?" Kirwood asked "Abra-Kadabra!"

Kirwood zapped Nosmo and he turned into a measuring ruler.

"Tada!" said Kirwood.

"Not that kind of ruler you twit!" the king shouted "Change him back!"

"Alakazoom!" Kirwood changed Nosmo back into a moon man.

"Twinkle, twinkle little star" Nosmo chuckled.

"Mr. Kirwood," said the king "I want you to make Nosmo a genius."

"You can't be serious" said Kirwood.

"I am" said the king "I need you to make something that'll make him smart, so he can be king. Maybe a magic crown."

"Sorry, I can't help you" said Kirwood.

"Guards!" the king shouted.

Some guards came right up to Kirwood pointing guns right at him.

"I'll get right to it sir" he gulped.

And so the wizard worked day and night working his magic spell. Designing the magic crown, mixing the elements, until finally late one night...

"Ten seconds till midnight" said Kirwood "Ten, nine, eight, seven..."

"Will it work Mr. Kirwood?" asked the king.

"It had better" said Kirwood "Six, five, four..."

"FOUR!" Nosmo jumped for joy.

Nosmo kept jumping and leaping towards his father.

"Let's play daddy!" he jumped onto his father, who was close to the table.

The king gasped "NOSMO! WAIT!"

While the king and Nosmo were tumbling, Kirwood finished his countdown "Three, two, one!"

Just then, the king and Nosmo fell onto the table and there was a huge explosion. When the smoke cleared away, everyone was unharmed except for Mr. Kirwood, who was the size of an action figure.

"I don't know how that happened" he remarked.

But instead of a crown, on the table was the Kirwood Derby.

"Not much for looks" said the king "But put it on anyways Nosmo."

"Okay" Nosmo put on the hat.

Just then, Nosmo started changing shape in funny ways and started making funny faces and then he changed back to his original shape.

"Now, can you count to four?" the king asked his son.

"Why of course I can, father" Nosmo spoke in a upper-class British accent "But I'd rather discuss the electromagnetic field."

"Kirwood!" said the king "You did it! Nosmo's smart! How can I repay you?"

"You could change me back" Kirwood suggested.

"...and so, King Nosmo has worn the Kirwood Derby ever since" Cloyd finished.

"But what's it doing down here?" Sherman asked.

"King Nosmo lent it to us for our first trip to Earth" said Cloyd.

"And Cloyd forgot it" said Gidney.

"I left it under a theater seat in St. Louis" Cloyd blushed "We were watching an out of town tryout."

"It was so bad we had to leave quickly" Gidney remarked.

"Oh well" said Boris "It's finders keepers I always say, right boys?"

But our heroes remained silent and glared at Boris.

"What's the matter?" Boris asked "You don't believe in togetherness?"

"No" said Rocky "Cause it's really their hat."

"Whatever" said Boris "Now lets go inside and see the president"

But as Rocky reached for the doorknob, Fearless Leader reached for the trigger.

* * *

 **AND NOW FOR SOMETHING WE HOPE YOU'LL REALLY LIKE!**

 **THE ROCKY, BULLWINKLE AND MR. PEABODY FAN CLUB!**

 **Rocky** : Hello everyone and welcome to the Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody Fan Club!

 **Bullwinkle** : We are so glad you made it, cause now we can do our wonderful renedition of that timeless classic ballet, Swan Lake. A tale of everlasting love and dance.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Featuring Nell Fenwick as our star, Princess Odette! Get ready to see the Swan Princess, like never before! So, without further ado, on with the show!

 **THE SWAN PRINCESS: ROCKY, BULLWINKLE AND MR. PEABODY EDITION!**

 **ACT I**

T _here once lived a prince named Prince Siegfried, who lived a carefree lifestyle in his kingdom. Today was not just any old day, it was the prince's birthday. But this was no ordinary, run off the mill birthday, this was his 18th birthday and the following night, he would choose a bride to marry, as part of his family's tradition which had been going on for generations._

 **Prince Siegfried** (played by **Dudley Do-Right** ): Ah. I just love my life as a prince. No work or repsonsibilities! Just parties and eating on my throne with my tutor, friends and peasents.

 _However, his mother, the Queen was greatly concerned by his carefree lifestyle and wanted him to take his place as king. She had to tell him about the tradition so he'd finally take some responsibilities and his rightful place and ruler of the throne._

 **The Queen** : Excuse me, Siegfried, but there's something you should know.

 **Siegfried** : Oh what is it, mother dear?

 **The Queen** : Enjoy your last day of fun, cause the following evening, you are going to pick a bride to marry.

 **Siegfried** : A bride? By tomorrow evening?

 **The Queen** : Why yes, my son. It is tradition to choose a bride on the day of your eighteenth birthday. You must marry honor and for the kingdom.

 **Siegfried** : Never mother! I refuse to marry for tradition and not for love!

 _The prince when back to his room to sulk. His friend, Benno and his tutor decided to come and help him in his of need._

 **Benno** (played by **Boris Badenov** ): Siegfried, old chum. Quit sulking like a baby and pull yourself together.

 **The Tutor** : Yes, it's not the end of the world.

 **Siegfried** : I shall not Benno. I have to choose someone to marry tomorrow or we'll lose the kingdom. The worst part is, I haven't even fallen in love before. This is so unfair.

 **Benno** : Come on buddy. We do something to cheer you up and make you better.

 _Just then, outside of the window, there was a flock of swans flying by. This gave Siegfried and his friends a wondrous idea._

 **The Tutor** : I have a wonderful idea! Why don't we all go on a hunt? All three of us? Those swans would be perfect for sport!

 **Benno** : Actually, not a bad idea.

 **Siegfried** : That is the understatement of the year! Come my friends! Let us grab our bows and arrows and shoot those pesky birds.

 _And so, Siegfried and his friends took their crossbows and went in search of the swans. Little did Siegfried know that this would be a hunt he would never forget_

 **END OF ACT I**

 **Bullwinkle** : And that was Act I of our rendition of Swan Lake! Boy, I sure wonder what that prince is gonna find!

 **Mr. Peabody** : We will know in our next chapter, Bullwinkle my dear boy. Be ready for Act II next chapter.

 **Bullwinkle** : My favorite brand of popcorn!

 **Rocky** : Get ready for Act II coming soon folks!

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Don't miss our next chapter, "Flying Bullets" or "A Cardridge in a Pear Tree"**


	24. Chapter 24

Last time you remember, our heroes listened open-mouthed, while the Moon Men told them about their king, Nosmo the One Hat. While wearing his crown which we know as the Kirwood Derby, he was super intelligent and a great ruler. But without the derby, he was complete idiot.

Unfortunetly, Gidney and Cloyd were allowed to wear the hat on their first vacation to Earth.

"And we lost it" said Gidney.

"But we found it" said Mr. Peabody.

"And finders keepers, right?" asked Boris.

"Right!" said Bullwinkle and Sherman.

"Wrong!" said Rocky and Mr. Peabody.

"Wrong?" Bullwinkle, Sherman and Boris said at the same time.

"It belongs to them, Bullwinkle!" Rocky pointed to the Moon Men.

"Yes, and I don't want anyone on this planet to be smarter and more intelligent than me" Peabody added.

"Well, why don't we ask the president about that?" asked Boris. "He's just inside."

And he was! Only, this was no ordinary president! This was the president of the Kill Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody Club, Fearless Leader.

"Well why don't we ask the president?" Sherman suggested.

"I guess we should" said Rocky.

"Plus, he's a good friend of mine" Peabody added "I'm sure he'd want to hear from me."

"Come on guys." said Rocky.

But as Rocky's hand reached for the door knob, Gidney and Cloyd had a little side conversation of their own.

"We should go in first, Cloyd" said Gidney.

"But how do we do that, Gidney?" asked Cloyd.

"Simple, we just teleport" Gidney explained.

Gidney and Cloyd teleported right into the room and were face-to-faces with Fearless Leader.

"Say!" said Gidney "You're not the president, I can tell!"

"Too bad you won't live to tell anyone about it!" Fearless Leader barked.

And Fearless Leader pointed his gun right at Gidney and fired! Gideny dropped to the...Hey wait a minute! You're not dead!

"Of course not" said Gidney "I wasn't hit."

Well someone shot something.

"That would be me!" Cloyd reappeared "Fastest scrooch gun in the galaxy!"

Yes! Fearless Leader was now frozen and couldn't move a muscle.

"Hey" Gidney told Cloyd "Shut up and fade, they're coming in."

Gidney and Cloyd both faded as soon as Rocky, Bullwinkle, Peabody, Sherman and Boris entered.

"Okay!" Boris shouted "Let em have it! Shoot! Shoot!"

"Let us have what, Mr. Backslapper?" Sherman asked Boris.

Boris saw Fearless Leader frozen "Well uh...the 21 gun salute, what else? You boys are very big around here you know."

"Naturally" Peabody said in a snooty manner.

"They're not gonna do it, are they?" Bullwinkle asked.

"Well it's part of the economy drive" Boris told them "Those 21 gun salutes cost a pretty penny, you know!"

"Is there even such thing as an ugly penny?" Bullwinkle asked.

"But who's this guy?" Rocky pointed to Fearless Leader.

"This is the president's special bodyguard from Secret Service" Boris lied.

"Boy, he must've been a guard at Buckingham Palace" Sherman said "He's not moving a muscle."

Gidney and Cloyd secretly reappeared.

"Not till ten o'clock anyways" said Gidney.

"Hehe" Cloyd chuckled "Do we tell them now, Gidney?"

"No use worrying them, Cloyd" Gidney answered "Let's just keep an eye on that Backslapper character, though."

Boris showed them the backdoor "Through here is the president's office."

"Oh boy" said Rocky.

"Golly, that's pretty fantastic" Sherman added.

"A little unorthodox, but not so bad just the same" Peabody remarked.

"Now when I open the door," said Boris "You just bow down real low."

"Like this?" Bullwinkle bowed down.

"No, no, no!" said Boris "Your package is in the way, I'll hold it for you."

"That's mighty thoughty" said Bullwinkle.

"Ready now?" Boris asked our heroes.

"Ready" our heroes bowed low.

And Boris swung the door wide open.

"Greetings Mr. President" said Mr. Peabody "It is I, Peabo-"

Boris then kicked our heroes out of the door, and our friends started to fall right off a cliff that the house was on.

"You know for a president, he's quite a jokester" Bullwinkle told his friends.

"Bullwinkle!" Peabody glared.

"Maybe he's a little immature for the job" Bullwinkle kept talking.

"Bullwinkle my dear boy, we've been hoodwinked" Peabody told them.

"Yeah, he sure winks a mean hook" said Bullwinkle.

"Bullwinkle, the president was never there in the first place!" Rocky pointed out.

"Well that's alright" said Bullwinkle.

Well it actually wasn't. Because at that very moment, our heroes plunged into the freezing Potomac River. Meanwhile in the house above, Boris was triumphant.

"I got it! I got it!" he started dancing "I got the Kirwood Derby! Natasha, come out wherever you are!"

Natasha came out of a room in the house "I'm right here dollink! I was just hanging up cobwebs!"

"Natasha!" Boris showed her the hat "I got the Kirwood Derby!"

"Boris, how?" Natasha gasped.

"How else?" Boris asked "By lying, stealing, cheating and double crossing. Like I always say Natasha, it matters not the final score but how you play the game."

"Oh put it on, dollink" Natasha said.

Meanwhile, Gidney and Cloyd were still invisible, eavesdropping on the two spies.

"Do I let him have it now, Gidney?" Cloyd asked.

"No Cloyd," said Gidney "He's about to put on the Kirwood Derby."

"I know" Cloyd said "And that'll make him the smartest person in the world."

"I know" Gidney said.

"And you're letting him, do it?" Cloyd asked.

"I know" Gidney said.

"Gidney!" Cloyd gasped "That's unethical!"

* * *

 **AND NOW FOR SOMETHING WE HOPE YOU'LL REALLY LIKE**

 **THE ROCKY, BULLWINKLE AND MR. PEABODY FAN CLUB!**

 **Bullwinkle** : Welcome back to the club culture lovers! Time for our next act of that famous play, Swan Lake.

 **Mr. Peabody** : As you may recall, Prince Siegfried was feeling down about arranged marriage, so he and his buddies decided to go on a nice hunt after seeing a flock swans fly by.

 **Rocky** : So let's get on with Act II!

* * *

 **THE SWAN PRINCESS: ROCKY, BULLWINKLE AND MR. PEABODY EDITION**

 **ACT II**

 _With his friends in tow, Sigefried went into the deep woods to hunt for those swans. Soon enough, they got seperated and tried to find each other. Siegfried tried to find the swans on his own and ended up finding them in a lake._

 **Siegfried** : Aha! There you are you savages! You're mine now!

 _Just as Siegfried was about to use his crossbow to shoot the swan sitting on the lake, where a moon beam was shining, something amazing happened! The swan transformed into a beautiful, human maiden._

 **Siegfried** : Oh my goodness. Please, accept my apologies madame. I'm very sorry, I mean you no harm. I won't hurt you. Please, tell me your name.

 **Princess Odette** (played by Nell Fenwick): My name is Odette the Swan Queen. Listen, these my friends aren't really swans either, we have all been cast under a spell.

 _Just then, the other swans transformed into humans as well. Siegfried was more than shocked to see this happening. Never had he seen something so interesting or a person like Odette, so beautiful and graceful._

 **Princess Odette** : We are held prisoner here by an evil sorcerer named, Von Rothbart! He can change into an evil owl-bat like animal. By day we are turned into swans and only at night, by the side of the enchanted lake – created from the tears of my mother – we return to human form. The spell can only be broken if one who has never loved before swears to love me forever. We can't leave, because these others are my family. I love them and they're all I have in this world.

Sigefried was intrigued by this, he had never seen someone so devoted to taking care of someone, nor someone alone in the world.

 **Siegfried** : Odette, to be honest, I've never been in love before. In my family, you have to be married due to tradition and you're probably the most beautiful and kindest person I know.

 **Odette** : Thank you Siegfried.

 **Siegfried** : Is there anything I can do to help?

 **Odette** : You can't stay here Siegfried! You must go now!

Siegfried: But I-

 **Von Rothbart** (played by Snidley Whiplash): Oh Odette!

Odette: Oh no! It's him!

 _Just then, out of the nearby castle, Von Rothbart had come out to see what was going on. Odette and Siegfried hid inside of a bush, so they wouldn't be spotted._

 **Von Rothbart** : Oh Odette! Where are you? Hmmm. I guess I was wrong. Don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow night.

 _While Von Rothbart kept searching for Odette and the maidens, Siegfried oversaw evertyhing._

 **Siegfried** : This is the one who kidnapped you and made you and your friends like this?

 **Odette** : Yes he is.

 **Sigefried** : I am going to kill that fiend for what he's done to you!

 _But before Siegfried could go confront Rothbart and kill him, Odette stopped him at the last minute._

 **Odette** : Siegfried! Stop! You can't kill him! If he dies before the spell is broken, I'll be under this curse forever.

 _Siegfried wanted to win Odette's trust, so he did the impossible. He broke the crossbow in half. Luckily, the snap wasn't loud enough for Rothbart to hear. Von Rothbart finally gave up looking for Odette and vanished back into the castle._

 **Odette** : Thank you.

 _Over the whole night, Odette and Siegfried got to know more about each other. They took lovely walks around the forest and really talked all about themselves. Siegfred was enjoying his time with Odette, so much that he forgot about his friends. They were in love._

 _Hours later however, dawn had arrived and Odette and her friends were transformed back into swans. Siegfred remembered that he had to get back to the castle and he hadn't chosen his bride, so he made his way back to the castle._

 **END OF ACT II**

* * *

 **Bullwinkle** : Well that's the end of Act II!

 **Mr. Peabody** : You know Rocky, this is a very loving and intriguing play we are doing. It is classical, it is old fashioned and sophisticated.

 **Rocky** : What a loyal doggy. Well, stay with us for Act III coming up next.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **And what exactly is unethical that Gidney is doing? So be with us for Act III and our next chapter, "The Crepe Hangers" or "Brighten the Coroner Where You Are"**


	25. Chapter 25

Last time you remember, not only did Boris kick our friends into the freezing Potomac River, but they also lost the Kirkwood Derby to him.

"Natasha guess what?" Boris said to his partner "We have won for once!"

"Put on hat Boris" said Natasha "Tell me how we rule the world!"

Fortunately, the two fiends were being watched by those kooky moon men, Gidney and Cloyd.

"I scrooch him now?" Cloyd asked Gidney.

"No Cloyd" said Gidney "Don't do it."

"But he's gonna put on the Kirwood Derby, how could you do this Gidney, its uncharacteristic" Cloyd told his friend.

"Not really" said Gidney "Just watch"

And while the Moon Men watched with all eyes, Boris placed the Kirkwood Derby on his head.

"I got pen and notebook dollink" Natasha held up a pen and notebook "How do we rule the world?"

But something unusual seemed to be happening to Boris. The hats effects started to make him distort and shape shift a little, when he finally regained his normal shape.

"What happened Boris?" Natasha asked him.

"I can see it now" said Boris.

"Yes, what is it darling?" Natasha frantically asked.

"Being a villain sucks" Boris said "Nobody likes me, not even other villains. If everybody was like me, the world would be a horrible place. The wise thing to do is be decent such as; making apple boxes, raise family, gain respect, have friends because Natasha...crime really doesn't pay, and phooey!"

"Boris!" Natasha gasped "You're not going to wear Kirkwood Derby?"

"You said it!" Boris took off the hat "If that's being smart, you can have it!"

Boris threw the hat right out of the window and Gidney caught it.

"See Cloyd, some people can't handle being smart" Gidney told his friend.

"How come?" asked Cloyd.

"Cause they can't admit they were stupid" Gidney joked.

Meanwhile, what of our friends Rocky, Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman?

"We are floating down the Potomac River in freezing cold weather, that's what of" Peabody told the narrator.

"Hey you're doing pretty good Bullwinkle" Rocky told the moose "Especially considering the fact that you can't swim, you're doing-"

Just then, Bullwinkle sank to the bottom.

"Uncle Bullwinkle!" Sherman gasped.

"We've gotta save him!" Rocky exclaimed "Come on!"

And the three heroes dived into the freezing cold water and they grabbed Bullwinkle by the antlers.

"I wish you hadn't said that Rocky" Peabody told Rocky.

"Yeah" Bullwinkle said "Maybe you should keep your buck toothed mouth shut"

"Sorry guys" said Rocky "I just didn't think the water was that deep"

"Well it's pretty deep" Bullwinkle said "Let me show you"

Bullwinkle stood up, but the water only went up to his ankles.

Rocky sighed "Come on Bullwinkle"

Rocky, Bullwinkle, Peabody and Sherman walked right out of the river and saw there was something big going on. People were gathered all together in a crowd.

"Look at that Mr. Peabody" Sherman pointed to the crowd "There's a large crowd"

"Keen observation Sherman" said Mr. Peabody "It would seem there's something important going on. I assume its either a big celebration or ceremony. I propose that we go find out"

And our heroes walked over to the crowd and tapped on a nearby civilians shoulder to ask him what was going on.

"Pardon me, sir" Peabody tapped on the man's shoulder "But what is going on, here?"

"New congressman coming here today" said the man.

"Really?" asked Rocky "Who's that?"

"Feller from a small town in Missouri" said the man.

"I thought they already had one of those once" Bullwinkle raised an eyebrow.

"They did" the man said "But he went home again"

"Shame" Bullwinkle said "He played a really mean piano though"

"This one has the name of Rocket J. Squirrel" the man said.

"Uncle Rocky!" Sherman exclaimed "That's you!"

And it was. Our boys were cheered for by the enthusiastic crowd and Rocky was installed in his brand new office.

"Now there's something you don't see everyday, Edgar" said an old man.

"What's that Chauncey?" asked Edgar.

"A squirrel in congress" said Chauncey.

"I don't know Chauncey" Edgar said "Just a hundred times"

"How?" asked Chauncey.

"They've had a bunch of nuts in office, a squirrel was bound to show up" Edgar said.

Inside, Rocky was enjoying his brand new office. He couldn't believe this had happened to him.

"Boy" said Rocky "It's like a dream come true guys"

"Finally," Peabody said "Someone besides me who has worked with the government"

"Golly, that's pretty fantastic" Sherman remarked.

But when the mail arrived it was more like a nightmare, for half of it was from the Hatfuls...

"They want to me to get rid of the Cloys" Rocky read the letter.

And the other half was from the Cloys.

"They demand I get rid of the Hatfuls!" Rocky read the other letter.

"Boy it's tough being a congressman" Bullwinkle said.

It certainly was! For at that moment, one member of each of the clans was right out of the office, ready to shoot one another.

* * *

 **AND NOW HERE'S SOMETHING WE HOPE YOU'LL REALLY LIKE!**

 **THE ROCKY, BULLWINKLE AND MR. PEABODY FAN CLUB**

 **Rocky** : Welcome back to the Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody Fan Club! Get ready for Act III of our version of the Swan Princess.

 **Mr. Peabody** : As you may recall my dear friends, Prince Seigfried had encountered a lovely maiden named Princess Odette, who was under a spell, which could only be broken by a vow of eternal love.

 **Bullwinkle** : Now he is going on a quest with Luke Skywalker and Chewbacca the Wookie to fight Darth Vader.

 **Rocky** : That's the wrong story Bullwinkle! The prince is going to make a vow of everlasting love to Odette in order so they can be together.

 **Mr. Peabody** : But enough exposition, let's get to Act III!

* * *

 **THE SWAN PRINCESS! ACT III**

 _Von Rothbart had heard about Siegfried's plan to save Odette, so he went back to his castle and came up with his own sneaky little plan._

 **Von Rothbar** t: What am I to do? If that prince makes the vow for Odette, the swans are going to change back into humans.

 _Luckily, his enchantress daughter, Odile came up with a little plan for him._

 **Odile** (played by **Natasha Fatale** ): No need to worry daddy dollink. I have a plan; prince is going to make vow for Odette, but he's not going to make vow to "Odette".

 **Von Rothbart** : Daughter! What are you talking about?

 **Odile** : I mean if he makes vow to wrong girl, Odette will die. I will transform myself into Odette and he'll be so gullible, prince will never knew what hit him.

 **Von Rothbar** t: That last part made no sense, but excellent my angel. I will take care of the real Odette.

 _That night, the whole kingdom gathered together for a costume ball at the castle. However, six princesses in particular had attended the ball because Siegfried's mother had wanted him to marry one of them._

 **Siegfried** : But mother, I don't want to marry any of these princesses.

 **The Queen** : Nonsense sonny boy, these are the most beautiful princesses in all of the land. You're bound to marry one of them.

 **Siegfried** : No need mother dear. I am going to marry someone already and she should be here any minute.

 _Unbeknownst to Siegfried, Rothbart and Odile were right outside the castle, hiding in the shadows ready to plot their evil scheme at any moment._

 **Von Rothbart** : The coast is clear daughter! Now's the time to put our plan into action.

 **Odile** : Oh daddy, you are the rottenest person in the world, you're my idol. Now I shall do new black magic.

 _Odile had raised her arms and from her hands came light rays, which transformed her into the spitting image of none other than, Odette in a black dress. While Odile (who was transformed into Odette) was making her way into the castle, Rothbart had followed her in disguise._

 **Odile** : Oh Siegfried.

 _Siegfried had turned around and saw none other than the Odette decoy and boy, was he shocked to see her. He didn't know it was a decoy, he thought it was the real deal._

 **Siegfried** : Oh Odette! I missed you so much. Why did you leave the lake? And what happened to your dress?

 **Odile** : No need for questions my love, let's just dance the night away.

 _While, Siegfried and Odile started dancing the night away, Sigefried saw a vision of Odette that only he could see._

 **Vision Odette** : Siegfried, don't do this! It's not what you think! You are being deceived! She's an impostor.

 _Unfortunately, Siegfried was so bewitched and enchanted by Odile's disguise that he paid no mind to the vision that was in his head._

 **Siegfried** : I though I heard a voice, oh well.

Eventually, it was almost the end of the ball and the prince was ready to make his vow of everlasting love. He called the whole ballroom for attention.

 **Siegfried** : Attention my royal subjects! I would like to make an annoucement! I make a vow of everlasting love to none other than this beautiful woman, Princess Odette and I plan to make her my queen!

 _Just then, the whole room went dark and everything became dark and scary and lightning struck the place. Suddenly, Rothbart came right up to Siegfried and Odile and revealed himself._

 **Von Rothbart** : Hello princey!

 **Siegfried** : Von Rothbart you fiend! You will not get Odette as long as I live.

 **Von Rothbart** : Oh that's what you think!

 _Rothbart conjured up a magical vision thing and there was the real Odette, heartbroken and in great despair. Siegfried was horrified._

 **Siegfried** : Impossible! Odette is over there!

 **Odile** : That's what you think dollink.

 _Suddenly, Odile transformed herself back into her true form and boy was Siegfried shocked._

 **Von Rothbart** : If you want to see your precious Odette again, you'll have to get to the lake before she dies.

 _With no further delay, the prince rushed back to Swan Lake in hopes that he could find Odette before she died, but would he make it?_

 **END OF ACT III**

* * *

 **Bullwinkle** : Looks like our hero, Prince Siegfried has gotten himself into a romance conundrum. That's why I don't date anyone I haven't investigated thoroughly.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Bullwinkle, you never investigate anyone thoroughly.

 **Rocky** : Well stayed tuned for our final act of the play in our next chapter real soon. No need for a note Mr. Author, we've got it covered from here.

 **Bullwinkle:** Be ready for our next chapter **"Double Trouble or "Two's a Crowd"**

 **Rocky:** See? We've got it covered.


	26. Chapter 26

Well they say that politics make strange bedfellows, but even hardened politicians were shocked at having to work with a squirrel. Yes, Rocky was the new congressman from Peaceful Valley and he already had his problems.

"Them Hatfuls gotta go" said the Floys.

"Them Floys gotta go" said the Hatfuls.

Inside the office, Rocky was discussing his dilemna with his friends.

"Guys, this is a tough problem" he said.

"Tell me about it" Bullwinkle said "They expect you to pull an answer right out of your hat!"

"That's what I'm going to do!" Rocky pounded his fist "I'm going to put on the Kirwood Derby and become the smartest guy in the world for a minute"

"But we don't have the Kirwood Derby, Uncle Rocky" Sherman pointed out.

"Sherman is right" said Mr. Peabody "I never thought I'd say this, but someone has to be smarter than me"

Just then, the Kirwood Derby came floating into the office.

"Don't worry" said a familiar voice "We've got it"

""Yikes!" said Rocky "Kinda weird having a floating hat fly up to you"

But the hat was really being carried by those two cute Moon Men...

"Gidney and Cloyd!" Rocky exclaimed.

"What're you guys doing here?" Sherman asked them.

"We are here to help you" said Gidney "Here put on the hat"

And Rocky did put on the hat, but it was a little too big for him.

"What's the answer Uncle Rocky?" Sherman asked Rocky.

"Yes, we are dying to know" Peabody added.

Rocky just muffled through the hat and no one could understand what he was saying.

"What's he saying Gidney?" Cloyd asked Gidney.

"I don't know, but I think we should take the hat off" Cloyd said.

Cloyd had wasted no time in pulling the hat off Rocky's head.

"Whew" Rocky sighed "That's better"

"So what happened, Rock?" Bullwinkle asked him "Did you figure out the answer?"

"It's easy, we are going to evacuate both families" Rocky explained.

And so within the hour, a bus load of Hatfuls the state heading east, while a bus load of Floys started heading west. Oddly enough, they seemed delighted at the very idea. Do you guys even know what "evacuation" means?

"Evacuation?" a Floy asked the narrator "Shoot! I thought you said we were going on vacation"

"But where are they going to end up, Uncle Rocky?" Sherman asked Rocky.

"I don't know Sherman, but once they're over the state line, they're someone else's problem" Rocky said.

"Boy, that Rocky sure is a fast learner" Cloyd told Gidney.

"We'd better get this hat back to the moon" Gidney said to Gidney.

As soon as our friends waved "goodbye", the Moon Men took off in their flying saucer.

"Goodbye!" they all said.

"Farewell" said Gidney.

"Give my regards to Broadway" Cloyd added.

When the Moon Men started taking off, Cloyd started to look sad and gloomy.

"Why so sad, Cloyd?" Gidney asked him.

"We were in six chapters and I didn't to scrooch one bad guy" Cloyd sadly responded.

"Cheer up, maybe you'll get to blast another one" said Gidney.

"Like that guy?" Cloyd pointed to the ground.

Yes, just below them was Boris Badenov pleading for his life.

"Now let's not be hasty Fearless Leader, old buddy" he begged "I can make it up to you"

"How?" Fearless Leader snapped.

"I will give you my 94 medals!" said Boris.

"Junk jewelry!" Fearless Leader snapped.

"I will give a 14 karat gold brick!" Boris showed him a gold brick.

"Chicken feed!" Fearless Leader shouted.

"My mortgage on the Pentagon" Boris showed a piece of paper.

"Scrapbook paper!" Fearless Leader got closer to pulling the trigger.

"Okay, here is my last offer" Boris pulled out a picture of someone "My autographed picture of Sunny Tufts!"

"SonnyTufts?" Fearless Leader gasped "I'll take it Badenov! You've found the chink in my heart"

Boris then took the photo away "On second thought, shoot me"

"Never!" Fearless Leader swiped the photo from Boris "A deal is a deal, Badenov! Goodbye!"

Fearless Leader ran off with the photo and Boris walked back to Natahsa.

"Whew" Boris sighed "That was close Natahsa"

But as Boris had taken off his hat and wiped his brow, he had been frozen by Cloyd's scrooch gun and once again, he was right next to a flag pole. But this time, he looked like he was perpetually saluting the American flag.

"For him, it's a fate worse than death" Natasha remarked.

Meanwhile, inside the capital building, Rocky and the others were having a meeting with the other congressmen.

"Well gentlemen," said the head congressman "It's the last day of the session of congress, I think it's only fair that we hear the maiden speech from our new colleague. Go ahead Rocky"

Just then, Rocky noticed something was missing.

"Bullwinkle, where's my speech?" Rocky whispered to his friend.

"Here it is, buddy" Bullwinkle handed Rocky a piece of paper.

Unfortunately, all that Bullwinkle handed Rocky was the last page of his speech, so his first words were...

"And so Mr. Senate, I move, we adjourn" Rocky read the speech.

"Second!" shouted another congressman.

"Adjourn!" another one exclaimed.

"Marvelous! Best speech of the year!" said the head congressman.

Even though Rocky didn't make his full speech, the congressmen loved it and really felt inspired and motivated.

"Boy Rocky" said Bullwinkle "You didn't even make your speech, but everyone loves you"

"Even I don't have a logical explanation for that" Peabody added.

"Well guys, sometimes even the smallest of words can make a huge difference" Rocky told them "And you can even say great things without even using your words"

"Golly, that sounds pretty fantastic" Sherman remarked.

"And it sounds like a great moral to our story" Bullwinkle said "And a great conclusion!"

* * *

 **AND NOW HERE'S SOMETHING WE HOPE YOU'LL REALLY LIKE...**

 **THE ROCKY, BULLWINKLE AND MR. PEABODY FAN CLUB!**

 **Rocky** : Welcome back to another meeting of the Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody Fan Club!

 **Bullwinkle** : It's a pleasure to see you once again.

 **Mr. Peabody** : And now, it's time for the final act of Swan Lake!

 **Rocky** : As you recall last time, Prince Siegfried had made the vow to the wrong girl and because of that, Odette is going to die. Will he be able to make it to her in time? Get ready for our final act!

 **Mr. Peabody** : And introducing the concluding chapter of Swan Lake!

* * *

 **THE SWAN PRINCESS ACT IV**

 _Siegfried raced back to the lake to save Odette before she had her dying breath. Finally, he arrived there to find Odette unconscious and barely alive._

 **Siegfried** : Odette! My love! Please! Come back!

 _Siegfried ran over to Odette's dying body. There, the other swans were trying to comfort her._

 **Swan 1** : There, there Odette, it'll be okay.

 **Odette** : I think otherwise, it'll be okay my dear friends. I just can't believe Siegfried would do this to me.

 **Siegfried** : Odette! What have I done? I am so sorry, I did this to you. This is all my fault, I should've known that girl wasn't you. I am so, so sorry. You can't die Odette, the vow I made was for you.

 **Odette** : I know...I love you Siegfried.

 _With that word, Odette and Siegfried held each other in their arms, thereby expanding their love for each other._

 **Siegfried** : CURSE YOU ROTHBART! CURSE YOU!

 _At that very moment, Rothbart had arrived on the scene to mock Siegfried over his loss._

 **Von Rothbart** : Oh how sad. You really screwed up your majesty. Looks like you'll have to marry my dear daughter, Odile.

 **Odile** : That is what you vowed to do, dollink. So get ready to pucker up your lips.

 **Von Rothbart** : And that's not the only thing, if you don't marry Odile, Odette will die forever, and if you do marry her, she'll live, but will be a swan forever.

 **Siegfried** : Never you fiend! I'd rather die with her than marry someone who isn't her!

 **Odette** : So would I, Rothbart you slime ball!

 _And with that much being said, Odette and Siegfried jumped into the lake and willingly drowned together. This broke Rothbart's spell over the other maidens since they chose to love each other in death and Rothbart vanished forever._

 **Rothbart** : What?

 _You heard me pal! You're dead!_

 **Rothbart** : Aw nuts.

[Rothbart vanishes into thin air]

 _Just then, the other maidens transformed back into their original human forms and watched together as Odette and Siegfried joined each other in the Heavens as angels, watching their friends for their vow of everlasting love had brought them to find the people they loved._

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Bullwinkle** : How romantic, I especially loved the part where E.T and that ugly kid floated up into the air on the kid's bicycle.

 **Rocky** : Bullwinkle! That didn't happen!

 **Bullwinkle** : You listen to your story and I'll listen to mine, Rocky old boy.

 **Rocky** : Thanks for coming to the Rocky, Bullwinkle and Mr. Peabody Fan Club! See you next time!

 **LATER THAT NIGHT WHILE GETTING READY FOR BED...**

 **Mr. Peabody** : Well we sure made a spectacular spectacle of this very timeless ballet. What should we do for our next story?

 **Rocky** : Well there aren't a lot of plays we can do as of the moment, and we don't have any new stories in mind.

 **Bullwinkle** : How about a story about a giraffe who finds love?

 **Mr. Peabody:** No! We need to do something spectacular. Something our fans have never seen before.

 **Bullwinkle** : What do suggest we do?

 **Rocky** : Well, we are best friends, right?

 **Bullwinkle** : Of course we are, Rocky. After all, what else could we be?

 **Rocky** : Well it's kinda odd that a flying squirrel, a moose and a dog are best friends. So, why don't we explain our friendship to the others?

 **Mr. Peabody** : An excellent idea, my dear squirrel. But how do we explain the eternal friendship of a most extraordinary dog with glasses, a not too bright moose and a plucky flying squirrel?

 **Bullwinkle** : It's too bad that we can't tell the audience about the first time we met.

 **Rocky** : Bullwinkle! That's it! We'll tell everybody about the first time we all met and became friends.

 **Bullwinkle** : Gee, I was going to suggest we put on a puppet show, but your idea works too.

 **Mr. Peabody** : Looks like we'll be going way back. Way back to the beginning.


End file.
